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Old July 19th, 2012, 02:23 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1
Question help?

hi all, hope everyone is well! need some advice?

I've been with my partner for about 2 and a half yrs now i already had a child before i met him but we had a second child together last September. at first our sex life was great but 7 months into my pregnancy he just seems to have lost his desire to have sex with me. at first it was because he felt awkward about the baby then after i had our little one it was because he was afraid of hurting me (which at the time seemed really sweet of him) now its excuse after excuse (he's tired or he's lost his sex drive and so the list goes on) he won't talk to me about it im confused i feel unattractive to him and when sex does happen its always me that instigates it or its after I've had a whine about the lack of sex and it seems like he's 'obliged' to do it!

im so confused i feel ugly fat and worthless, please help i love him so much but i have no clue on what suddenly changed 12 months ago

thanks x
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Old July 19th, 2012, 09:32 PM   #2
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It seems to me its his issue. Not yours. So just tell him that and let it go. He may need counselling though. Just an idea
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
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Old July 23rd, 2012, 07:30 PM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: IA
Posts: 540
Hey Steph...

I think the bottom line is you have to get him to communicate with you...it's the only way. Have you tried talking to him directly after sex, some men are more vulnerable at this point and tend to be more talkative...

Also, new fathers...sometimes they feel left out, like you pay more attention to the baby then them. It's actually really common. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning his behavior. And I suppose he's one of those macho guys that would never consider going for couples therapy...

Just something to think about. Have a great day!
"Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior" - Socrates
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