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Old April 21st, 2002, 06:36 PM   #1
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Special Needs Children

When making the decision either consciously or unconciously to have children, did you consider the fact that you may possibly have a special needs child? How did you deal with these ideas? In what ways did you prepare before your child for these spcial circumstances that arise?
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Old August 25th, 2002, 08:29 PM   #2
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Smile Planning is a good thing!

In both cases (I have 2 children), I did not think about having a special needs child. I think this is because I was rather young when I had my daughter 20 yrs ago and my son 10 yrs. ago. Now that I am remarried and 39 yrs old, my new husband and I talked about this on several occasions and decided not to have any children. The issue of a special needs child did come up and, frankly, I am not able to deal with that. My son has ADHD and it's been very difficult, especially in school. They are not very tolerant and it's been so stressful some days I want to run away. I work full-time (out of necessity, not choice) so it has affected my job performance in some ways. So, I don't think I can handle a more extreme case if it were to happen to me. I do think it's important to address this issue and get as much info as you can on the chances of it happening and on getting the help you need if necessary.
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Old November 24th, 2002, 10:18 PM   #3
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Sometimes you don't get a choice on weather or not you are going to have special needs child. I was 30 when I had Sallvie. Sallvie has been in some kind of therapy since he was 8 months old. It hasn't always been easy to find therapy or a therapist that insurance covers. I think the hardest part for me was getting the doctor to help fill out the right form for insurance to cover what was needed. Sallvie's teachers at headstart have been tellling me that he is ADHD.. I have had him in counseling since last spring. The counselor says he has been diagnosed by an agency who helped me get services for Sallvie as develpomently delayed . At the beginging of the school year the teachers told me if Sallvie can't control his behavior he could be placed in a "self contained" class when he gets into elementary school. I always wanted more then 1 child but I don't think I could handle another "special needs" child.
" Life is what you make of it"
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Old November 25th, 2002, 05:42 AM   #4
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I am sure you are a great mom, Minty I am sending you a special thought filled with peace. I hope it helps.
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Old October 29th, 2004, 02:49 PM   #5
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As a special needs mom of special needs kids ( see other posts of mine to learn about that) i have learned much and can be a support for any that need it. One thing that really inspired me was a short story by Erma Bombeck where she shows how moms of these kids may be "chosen". no matter your beliefs it is a sweet and inspiring thought. If i can find it again i will post it here later
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Old November 29th, 2004, 01:33 PM   #6
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Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.
This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew. "Forest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron saint, Cecilia. "Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint . . . give her
Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles,
"Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
"I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence that are so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.
"She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says `Momma' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see ignorance, cruelty, prejudice-and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

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Old June 2nd, 2006, 05:38 PM   #7
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anyone want to talk with me about parenting by yourself? I have a son nearly at puberty and an eight year old daughter with autism and down syndrome. absoluteley a wondrous gift and yet no other adult to bounce ideas and feelings off with is icky at times.
thanks sisters.
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Old February 2nd, 2007, 07:18 PM   #8
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Smile Special needs children

As a special needs parent, while pregnant we were asked about getting and amnio, we said no we would take the chance of having a special child, that if God gave us this special child that we wouldnt love it anyless. And stil today 7 years later, we enjoy our child and we fight for him every day no mater what it takes. we didnt know he was special until he was about 1 1/2 yrs. Then we found out he had Autism only because I noticed these horrible tantrums. Today those tantrums are better BUT we still fight for him.. No one will ever step on my son so long as I am alive. NO ONE.. So with that he is our BLESSING
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Old February 2nd, 2007, 10:40 PM   #9
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Your son is lucky to have such great advocates in his parents.
Love is never defeated, and I could add, the history of Ireland proves it. -- Pope John Paul II
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Old February 3rd, 2007, 05:33 PM   #10
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Bless you and your family. We need more parents to fight for thier special needs child.

He sure is a blessing to you as you are to him.

Good luck and keep the fight going.
Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *
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