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-   -   Whats has been doing (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=4353)

Elusive Unicorn March 20th, 2013 12:33 PM

Whats has been doing
Guess this will be good place to get my story out.

Elusive Unicorn March 20th, 2013 12:51 PM

Where to start is a good question. Right now I feel like my life is upside down and backwards. Guess could start with the telling and what followed.
My now ex-husband tells me that he has something to tell me well I was online chating with a couple fiends. He dropped a bomb on me tells me that he was cheating on me and to make it worse did not even have the decency to wear a condom. I went into shock as this was the second time that it had happened. Sigh have learned the hard way that 1st time u are human 2nd time is a choice.
So I told him we could try and i did try. I just could not get over the fact that he chose to do this again to me and after all I did to just comply with the demands he was giving me. Including giving up the computer on his day off.
The only thing I would not give up were my online friends. I was secluded enough.
Was all down hill after that. I was given no space to heal. I had to try and hide my tears from my kids. I was numb alot of the time inside. Only thing that would get threw that feeling was the anger and profound sadness.
Sorry to say was the onset of depression. Which even now I am dealing with. To someone who does not have it you do not want it trust me.
Well this is the back story and being how I am at the moment I will tell more later when I am not sitting on pins and needles waiting on a call that I should not even have to wait on.I will write more about what has happened in this past year or so as I can. Sometimes your the windshield sometimes the bug I guess.

IRISH_EYES_99 March 20th, 2013 06:53 PM

(((((((((((( Elusive Unicorn )))))))))) I wish I had a magic wand to rewind your life & make it better. So sorry that you are going though this again. Hold your head up high. You've done nothing wrong. He has. Whatever you do, don't feel as if any of this is your fault. IT"S NOT! I realize that doesn't help but hopefully it will put it back into perspective it's on him.

Depression is a natural outlet for what you've been though. May I suggest you make time to talk to a therapist, talking to someone not related to the situation helps.

Don't know how old your kids are, but they are old enough to know something is out of whack. Let them know it's not them. Let them know you are there, even though they see you.. they need to hear it.

Wishing you healing.

Jennifer23 March 20th, 2013 10:09 PM

Uni, I'm wishing better days for you in the future. You're in my prayers. Try to hold your head up!

Elusive Unicorn March 20th, 2013 11:22 PM

{{{ Irish}}} {{{ Jenn}}} Ty hopeful will have better days. sigh but story is unfinished. What I mean is not up to date. I have to take it slow on writing it all out. As it takes a lot out of me. Snort my path is tangled right now but it will get sorted out and I will find my way. At least I am not on the path alone.

crazymomma March 21st, 2013 12:20 AM

(((((((My Sweet Girl))))))) I love you and I know what you are going through and the paper work is scary. They are written that way to scare you but that is all it is a scare tactic. For too man it doesn't work. With you it only did cause you still have a long road.

IRISH_EYES_99 March 21st, 2013 03:36 PM

(((((((((((( elusive unicorn & crazymomma ))))))))))) I'm glad you have each other to turn to. Elusive give it time & hold on to your patience. Things take time. Give it whatever time it needs to sort out in your favor. ((((((((( extra hugs ))))))))))
(((((((( Jen just because ))))))))

Elusive Unicorn March 24th, 2013 01:09 PM

Let's see now ... I was very depressed and not getting better and harassed daily on things. I made a promise not to talk to my mom about things at the time. He was scared that I would take the kids and never look back. Then seeing how bad I was getting he told me to call my mom. I wound up living here. I was still being harassed, I needed time and space that he would not give me. I was also talking to a online friend at the time who was supportive just offering advice. In fact I had two online friends that were doing this. One just happened to be my best online buddy. We talked alot well my world was falling apart. I knew I could never trust my ex again to many times did I turn a blind eye to the things that had been done and said. When my ex asked for a divorce is finally when I acted on the feelings I was have toward my best friend. We made plains to meat with me going out to where he lived at the time. My moms whatever she wants to call him... helped me out a great deal with the kids as far as the legal aspects went. He made things go very easy in court for that. The down side was my ex and him decide that they did not wish to get along anymore. The arguing between these two over the phone and such has not made things easy. I have been threw a lot of changes. I will get to the rest some other time. Sometimes it takes a bit for my mind to wrap around it all and adjust to everything. Will bring more up to date next time I am still not there yet but getting closer. Sorry has taken so long to tell all is just some things in here that I would put down my ex would use against me even if they were just innocent words. I am still trying to get used to the great guy in my life who doesn't use my feelings and words against me.

IRISH_EYES_99 March 25th, 2013 09:14 PM

Hang in there it will sort out. You will be ok. Probably stronger than before. So glad you have someone in your life. Someone who listens & doesn't judge on words. Wish you the very best.

Jennifer23 March 25th, 2013 09:59 PM

Uni, you were one of my first friends here and you still are a friend. Keep your head up.

crazymomma March 25th, 2013 11:10 PM

Ladies He is a good man. I wish the one in my life was half as good to me. I hate the way things are in my life but what do I do? When I was going through so much he was there for me and stood by my side when I was so sick. Now he is sick and the problem is if his job finds out he could lose his job. They can tell him you can't work with these issues. It is causing worry and stress for both of us.

I want to help but I don't know how and with the health issues of my own I can't work and ssi only goes so far.

IRISH_EYES_99 March 28th, 2013 10:53 PM

(((((((((((((((((( crazymomma ))))))))))))))))))))))))) All I can do is wish you the very best. Don't give up, hang in there. It seems the holiday seasons are somewhat rougher on a lot of people. Wishing you the very best. Hold your head up high, do what you need to do to make things work.

Jennifer23 March 29th, 2013 10:28 PM

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, Momma. You're a good woman. Take care.

crazymomma March 30th, 2013 12:44 AM

Thank you both. We have a house full for the holiday. Uni's 2 are here plus are usual 7. I love having a full house as it's always too busy to think of how things really are.

DACDjr April 2nd, 2013 12:18 AM

We have helped each other through plenty of things. Some really rough things. We have laughed together and cried together, we have lost a few of our closest WOW friends. But we know that they have moved onto the great WOW boards in heaven. Together... together we have gotten through it all.

As for me, I am very thankful for all the sisters I have made over the last 17 years here. WOW the years are flying by....

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