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-   Grief and Loss (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=89)
-   -   Power of Prayer (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=1044)

IRISH_EYES_99 December 15th, 2007 09:51 AM

((((((((((( DACD )))))))))))) ((((((((( Self ))))))))))))),

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

You keep those good thoughts of your mom with you. (((((((( Extra hugs just for you )))))))).

Tiffin December 15th, 2007 04:11 PM

((((((((Dacd)))))))) Love surrounds you and your mother. I know she is very thankful and proud of you. Bless you for being there for her in such a loving and understanding way.

DACDjr December 16th, 2007 08:58 PM

With great sorrow I say, that self (mom) passed away at 3:01p.m today. She went in peace with me by her side.
I want to thank everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers, please know they were heard loud and clear. She is with the Lord now..

The best Christmas ever for her.


Tina Lynn
10-21-56 to 12-16-07
Rest in peace Mommy.......

Wolf_angel December 16th, 2007 10:39 PM

Oh darn!
((((((((( Dacd ))))))))))

My heart and thoughts go out to all of you during this time. Prayers are sent up on behalf of your family. Know that we are there in spirit with all of you.
Come in whenever you need to vent or whatever.
We are here with hugs and shoulders.

Bless all of you.

nobeefvv December 16th, 2007 11:44 PM


Just know we're here for you.

Allie December 17th, 2007 12:13 AM

Extending deep and heartfelt sympathy to {{{{{DACDjr}}}}} and family.

IRISH_EYES_99 December 17th, 2007 02:54 PM

(((((((( DACDJr and family )))))))))))))),

Wishing you healing for your hurting.

(((((((( Self )))))))), Is smiling down on you. You did right by her. The best you could do. God bless.

crazymomma December 17th, 2007 10:53 PM

(((((DAC))))) Your know you did the right thing. Your Mom is at peace and with those who have gone before her. She would be proud as everyone has said. I am sorry to her she is gone but know she will not be forgotten.

MY thought and prayers to you and yours at this time. I let Shimmering Unicorn know and she sends you hugs and prays also.

DACDjr January 25th, 2008 09:51 PM

Hey everyone.. I need a place to vent and cry for a minute, hope no one minds.

Mom has been gone for a month and a few days now, and I can't get her out of my mind. I wait for her to walk in the door or call me, then I realize she isn't coming. I find myself crying more often than not anymore.

I feel like I am depressed, but then I don't. I try to do things with the kids to keep my mind off of her. Trust me, it doesn't work.

I can't help but feel like I should not have taken her off of that machine. That she would have gotten better. It would have just took time. I can't help but feeling she is mad at me for taking her off. I actually have nightmares about that.. She comes in all dead looking and starts cussing me out... Not a pretty sight.

I thought I could handle this by myself. But I can't. I drag myself out of bed every morning and fight to make it through the day.

Will it ever get any easier?

IRISH_EYES_99 January 25th, 2008 11:38 PM

awww (((((((( DACD))))))))),

A month is not a very long time. Time will help heal the wound.

Do you have someone close that you can you can talk to. Someone who will let you be yourself. It's ok to cry, it's even ok to get angry.

Keeping busy with the kids is good. But you need grieving time. Sometimes that can take a longer time than a month.

A month it's still fresh. Hang in there. Find someone you can be you with. It's ok.

It's better to deal with your emotions now rather than holding off. Sometimes holding off they get to big to deal with. I wish you healing .

Addie January 25th, 2008 11:38 PM


The grieving and mourning period DOES get better! Unfortunately, you have something else here, and that's guilt! We can all tell you that you made the right decision, and we can all tell you that your mom isn't mad at you, and we can all tell you that she wasn't going to get better, but you have to believe that for yourself!

It was a terrible position to be in, my heart goes out to you. You made the right decision based on the information given to you. You saved your mom, your kids, and you, a lot of long and drawn out pain and suffering.

You should talk about it here, in chat, and from today until next year, whenever you want. But please, maybe you should also talk to someone well versed in this type of additional grief. That doesn't mean you shouldn't talk here!!! Talk, scream, yell, and cry! That's what these boards are here for.

I am so sorry that you had to make such a gut wrenching decision. You and your mom were very close. She loves you very much and she knows that you did for her what she couldn't do for herself.

Tiffin January 26th, 2008 02:09 AM


What you feel is very normal at this stage of grief.

As Addie said you had additional burdens of being the one deciding something very emotional and difficult. This compounds the grief.

Grief process can take 3 months up to a few years. No one person is the same or do they go thru the process of grieving the same. There are different stages and you are still at the beginning of grieving for your Mom. Vent as often as you need to. All of us have done the same thing when we were there -

Gosh my Dad has been gone now since 2001 and wasn't very long ago something came up with one of our cars and I went to phone Dad so he could tell me that the charges where normal from the mechanic. As I dialed my parents home number is when I remembered Dad wouldn't be there to answer the question. This happens to lots of us when we have had a love one die.

IRISH_EYES_99 January 26th, 2008 10:25 AM

((((((((( DACD)))))))))))))) ((((((((Addie, Tiffin ))))))))))))))


As Addie said you had a tough decision to make. You made the right choice for all. Second guessing now is normal.

A yr before my mom passed she was living at my sister's. She had cancer. I worked out a schedule with my family. On Thurs I would go to my sister's ( buses, trains . Then on Sun my hubby and the kids would pick me up. They would get to visit. My sister and her hubby could go out. It worked.

However my oldest daughter had a competiton in OHIO, that last Thurs and I wanted her to go. so many things that they did, she needed that. Needless to say.. That was the night my mom passed away. I wasn't there .

Guilt riddled me for a long time. Even though it was the first Thurs missed in a yr. Being there wouldn't have changed anything.

Riddled with the What if's? If Only's?? It took a long time for me to work though that.

Now with my oldest sister passing, hubby getting sick, and a good friend getting killed. My emotions have been on a wild ride.

Thought I could handle everything, thought wrong. Realizing that now.

Giving myself a gift of seeing a counselor. It will be someone who is not on the roller coaster ride, that I
can talk to.

Sincerly hope ((((((((( DACD)))))))))) that you can find someone to talk to. These boards are great. Thanks (((((((Addie )))))))))

(((((((( Tiffin ))))))))))))), called my mom's number forever after. So it seemed. They didn't give her number away for a yr. ..

We did have Chinese for New Year, but couldn't on birthday because it was something Ann and I did that for yrs celebrating our birthdays. ( she considered me her belated birthday present.. 8 yrs and a week between us.) It was a rough time this yr. The last time we celebrated was inbetween her hospital stints.

((((((((((((( DACD )))))))))))))) extra hugs just because. Didn't mean to run off at the mouth like that. But letting it stay.

Tiffin January 26th, 2008 01:29 PM


You are about the kindest person I know and hope things get easier for you, I'm sorry to hear these. So many thing going on for you and yes you are giving yourself an wonderful gift!

Getting professional help is one of the best ways to relieve troubling aspects of our lives.

Sometimes we just need that to be told we are normal for feeling the way we do, and that we are proceeding in the right direction. And sometimes we just need to hear of another option of ways to do things.

You all are in my thoughts daily!

DACDjr January 27th, 2008 12:46 AM

Deep down inside I know I did the right thing. But on the surface I am not sure. I am sure one of these days it will click that it was right. I am seeking help. The hospital holds weekly group session to help cope with loss. It does help to vent to strangers, and to hear from other people who have lost their mothers.

A lady told me today it will get better. In time you will heal. But there will always be a wee part of you that will hurt. Because she was your mom. And no one can replace her. Just live day by day. And cherrish the memories you have of her, and she will stay alive in your heart forever.

I miss her so much.

Thank you all for letting me 'vent'. Each and everyone of you have helped me out the last month. You always have a calm in your voice and a gentle hug. If I could hug you I would. Thanks for being there.

(((( Your name here )))))

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