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-   -   A chat friend loses a loved one... (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=728)

susieB August 16th, 2004 07:28 PM

A chat friend loses a loved one...
I was given some very sad news the other day. I was told that a chat friend had lost her husband. I am sure many of you remember tropic, or you may have known her as uglygal....

I was very saddened to hear of her loss, and was not sure how to contact her to express my condolences. I am hoping that some of you still speak with her and could perhaps send all my thoughts to her. This is what I wanted to say.

"Dear Sharon, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know that we had our differences some time ago, but now that all seems so silly. We were once friends, and I hope you take my condolences for what they are - truly heartlfelt. If there is anything at all I can do for you in this time of need, please call. Your friend, Sue"

Thank you in advance to anyone that is able to pass this message on to tropic.


susieB August 18th, 2004 10:13 AM

I am so sad that no one seems to be posting here....

LiamFan! August 21st, 2004 10:47 AM

I've been computer-less for nearly a week, and was sad to read this, susieB.

susieB August 21st, 2004 03:54 PM

thanks liam - I just wish I could find tropic so we could express our feelings to her.......

MintyFemme2 August 22nd, 2004 01:33 AM

(((((((((((((SUSIEB)))))))) I tend not to post in discussions like this not because I am heartless but because I feel uncomfortable about saying "sorry" when some one dies. I got so tired of hearing people say "sorry " when my mother died.. I wanted to scream " it wasn't your fault and no matter how much you say sorry it won't bring her back".

susieB August 22nd, 2004 09:47 AM

{{{Minty}}} I understand hun - it is SO hard to know what to say......

rjsfeminist August 22nd, 2004 11:10 AM

It is so sad to lose someone close. I'd like to send hugs to Sharon, & let her know we're thinking of her...

IRISH_EYES_99 August 23rd, 2004 02:56 PM

:( (((((( susie, Liam, Minty and all )))))))))
I was away for awhile just got back recently. Was unable to access the boards my computer and I had a difference of opinion.

It was truly sad that Gal lost her hubby. They had a wonderful life together. Complimented each other along with their daughter.
Her hubby suffered a massive heart attack that was never expected. The only thing I can do is let WACKROSS know about the outpouring of sympathy. She is in touch with GAL.

Gal's daughter was to start college in Sept. She was able to work it out that she will start in Jan. This way she can start fresh in Jan. While she will still be sad, she knows her dad would want her to go on with her dreams.
So I send my wishes to (((( Gal and her daughter))))) May they find some peace in their lives.

susieB August 23rd, 2004 06:31 PM

Very nicely said {{irish}}

PoohsBigSister August 23rd, 2004 08:55 PM

((((((((((((((IRISH)))))))))))))) MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IRISH_EYES_99 August 24th, 2004 10:59 AM

((((((((((((((((( PoohsBigSister ))))))))))) missed you too. Always a pleasure to see you. To all I will be talking to WACKROSS today. When I do I will pass on the condolences so she may let GAl know. Thanks to each of you.

IRISH_EYES_99 July 18th, 2006 06:52 PM

I know a lot of you think the world of pearlcat, her mother passed away yesterday afternoon.

Even though it was expected it still hurts like hell to lose a loved one.

pearlcat was very close with her mom.

I'm sure any condolences sent her way will be appreciated.

WillowWOW July 24th, 2006 09:51 AM

Love hugs kisses and prayers
(*(*(*(*( Pearlcat and Family )*)*)*)*)

My love hugs kisses and prayers for you family during this time. I know you were close to your Mom as many of us were. Yet losing your Mom is hard. So anytime you need to chat just let me know.

Hugs kisses and Prayers

Have a great day!:)

susieB July 26th, 2006 11:47 AM

my condolences {{pearly}}

OkieStorm August 12th, 2006 03:00 AM

Pearlcats Loss
Your Hurt Is In My Heart.
Eveyone goes through grieving differently, there will be those that say "just get over it". Well, you will never truly be over losing a loved one. I say let yourself feel...you are not a name in a PC afterall. You are Human. We Humans have what they call "Emotions" far more real that any "emotocon". Always remember you are never alone. I am very sorry for your loss sweetie.
A poem I wrote 8 years ago when my sister "sadielou" was killed. I still miss her very much...yes I still, at times grieve her very deeply.
(((((pearlcat & family)))))

No Escape

It grabs you by the throat and compresses your chest. Your pulse pounds in your head as you struggle for breath.

It hits you cold in the middle of the day. When all seems well it jumps in the way.

It plauges your dreams while deep in sleep. No timing it knows, all hours it keeps.

You struggle for answers, you search for relief, how will you escape this thing they call Grief?

Rembering all of my WS roomies who helped me cope...

WillowWOW August 12th, 2006 10:06 AM

Wow hits home!
((((( OkieStorm )))))

Wow that really hits home. I love your poem. I know from personal experience that the roomies and loved ones I have in chat and here, are the saviors! They come thru and just be there for sometimes that is what we need.

(((Pearlcat)))) You are still in my prayers.

Have a great day!:)

pearlcat October 2nd, 2006 09:24 PM

Thanks everyone for your words of condolence with the Passing of my Mom. Means a lot to me.


IRISH_EYES_99 December 22nd, 2006 09:52 PM

Today I got an email from nobeef, With great sadness she said her hubby pased away this past Wed.

I can report that hospice was there with them at the time,

Please keep nobeef and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Losing a loved one anytime hurts like hell, but I think the Holidays make it even tougher. So please think of her, say a prayer or two to help her though this time.

LiamFan! December 22nd, 2006 11:06 PM

Oh how sad.


I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

seo58 December 23rd, 2006 12:10 AM


so sorry to hear about your hubby. we are here if and when you need us

Wolf_angel December 23rd, 2006 12:15 AM

Oh my!

Please know we are here for you whenever. Please know that you will be in our prayers. I will say prayers for you dearest one. If you dont know by now but I do love ya like a sister and a beloved friend!

May you be blessed!

Tiffin December 23rd, 2006 12:35 AM

(((((((nobeef & family)))))

Such sad news, I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

PoohsBigSister December 23rd, 2006 12:47 PM


I am sorry for your loss. Our family's thoughts and prayers are with you.

rjsfeminist December 24th, 2006 10:43 AM

(((nobeef))) I know how much it hurts...Please take care of yourself. And please: Hospice has meetings for those who have lost loved ones. Please sign up for one of the series of meetings, especially if they offer one for widows/widowers. Very, very helpful.

shana1 December 27th, 2006 12:39 AM

(((( Nobeef )))) I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

nobeefvv December 27th, 2006 04:22 AM

Thank you
Thank you my wonderful roomies, for all your thoughts and prayers, and emails. Knowing your here means a lot.


Wolf_angel December 27th, 2006 02:21 PM

Oh wow!

Gosh hun we are glad to be here for us since you have been there for many of us. So good of you to post! Please keep doing so. Still saying prayers for you hun. Just know we do care about you!

Much hugs and kisses

Have a great day!:)

IRISH_EYES_99 December 27th, 2006 03:07 PM

((((((((((((((((((( nobeef)))))))))))))) just because. Good to see you post. Hope we get to see you back in WS soon. Lots of hugs, and a lot of love heading your way.

jagguar December 29th, 2006 06:05 AM

Condolences to nobeef
Nobeef, just adding my condolences to everyone else's. So sorry to hear about your husband. You did such a wonderful job looking after him and being there for him for so long. I hope that over the days, weeks and months ahead you will be comforted in knowing you did what you could, and he was well looked after.

Do take care of yourself, and remember, we're all here whenever you feel ready to be with us again.

jagguar December 29th, 2006 06:33 AM

Remembering Kathi Webster (KathiW, KathiRN)
For those that have not heard elsewhere, Kathi Webster, former WOW, participant in WritersChat, host of #4Nurses on TalkCity, died unexpectedly aged 53 on 19 February 2006. I only heard about this on 26 December 2006, after trying unsuccessfully for some time to make contact with her or her twin sister.

Finally managed to contact her twin, after her website paying tribute to Kathi was indexed by the search engines.

Kathi chatted in WomensSpace way back in 1995/1996. She was a great online friend to me, and although I never met her in person, I did meet her twin sister.

Kathi was a telephone triage nurse, Buddhist, vegetarian, animal lover, photographer, writer, self-confessed computer nerd and limerick writer. She gave generously of her time and wisdom, always giving sound advice, and thoughtful discussion.

I'll always remember her for her wonderful sense of humour and compassionate warmth to all. She was also pretty good at kicking out snerts!

Kathi's twin sister has a tribute site at http://twinthings.blogsource.com You might like to do a random act of kindness toward a stranger in her memory, or light a virtual candle at http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng

As a nurse, Kathi had an interest in death, dying and grief, and would say to anyone with a loss to take the time to grieve appropriately. An article she wrote about grief is at http://members.toast.net/overbeck/grfbrf18.html

If she had any health advice to those still here, it would be something like "don't smoke, cigarettes are poison" (Kathi ended up dying of lung cancer that had moved to her brain).

But more than that, she would say to appreciate each moment in your life, and to develop love and compassion for all beings, including yourself.

Sabra December 31st, 2006 08:48 PM

I have missed chatting with Kathi since she left wow. She was a kind, wonderful, thoughtful woman who gave far more than she took. We would kvetch about our profession and agreed on many things. I am sad she has left this plain, but know she is sitting on her identical twin sister's shoulder, watching and protecting.

IRISH_EYES_99 March 12th, 2007 01:11 PM

As I sit looking at my bags that should be packed and ready to go, the damn roller coaster of emotions begin again.

You know never cared for the roller coaster rides to begin with.

One of my sisters passed away Sunday. She had been sick for a period of time. Doesn't make it easier to deal with.
Even though we sometimes had our difference of opinion... ( I was always right and she was wrong. j/k ) She always considered me her belated birthday present. Our birthdays are 1 week apart .. a "few" years in between.
Say a prayer, light a candle, or just good thoughts for her family. Thanks.

My son is getting married Saturday. Really am trying very hard to keep it all in perspective.

We will dance, and celebrate the beginning of new lives together.. and the passing of lives of loved ones.

Today, Call someone you've lost contact with. Let them know you are thinking of them. Give a smile to a stranger, and a hug to those around you. Do it because you can not because you have to.

That's it after all is said and done,and we are back home .. I can have a mini melt down. It's ok I'm booking it. fitting it into my schedule.

((((((( hugs just because )))))))))

Sabra March 12th, 2007 01:24 PM

Sometimes I think when one has been sick for awhile, it makes it harder to let them go with their death. You get used to the idea they're ill, they worsen, they rally, they worsen, they rally, although often they never return quite to where they were previously.

You go up and go to her service, then go and celebrate her life with a shot of irish. Then you celebrate life further with your son's wedding, because she'll be there, sitting on your shoulder, right along with you, enjoying every minute of the celebration.

jagguar March 12th, 2007 10:33 PM

Oh Irish! I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's death. Even when someone has been ill for some time, it is still a shock when they die, and it is hard thinking of the world without their physical presence.

So hugs to you Irish ((((((((Irish)))))))) - I hope that in the months ahead you are able to mourn your sister's passing, but be comforted by the happy memories you shared. And that you can then go ahead and enjoy your life with the family and friends who are still here to love and laugh with you.

seo58 March 13th, 2007 11:57 AM


am so sorry at her passing, she isn't suffereing anymore. Celebrate her life and celebrate your son's new life too. They both deserve it.

crazymomma March 13th, 2007 01:58 PM

((((((Irish)))))) I am so sorry to hear of your lose. Keep your chin up hon and enjoy the wedding. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

shana1 March 14th, 2007 01:46 AM

(((((( Irish )))))) my dear friend. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. Losing someone you love is never easy. Book your mini meltdown when you can and if you need a meltdown friend you know you can count on me to be there for you. Have that drink and have one for all of us too ;) Take care!

Wolf_angel March 14th, 2007 02:03 PM

Blessings and love

Wow hun you sure are one strong woman. I know you loved her. So I am sending prayers of healing love and peace toa all of you! Just know I am here along with the rest of us if you need us! We are waiting with open arms!

Have a great day!:)

nobeefvv March 15th, 2007 06:49 PM

(((((((((irish))))))) we're here for you . you're in our hearts and prayer's.

huggsss and love

IRISH_EYES_99 March 19th, 2007 08:02 PM

((((((((((((((((( shana, crazymomma, Wolf_Angel, jagguar, Sabra, nobeef, everyone )))))))))))))))))),

Thank you I really did feel your presence there when I needed it most. Thank you so much for being there for me.

The sevices for my sister were hard, but they were also beautiful. Yes. we know she is no longer suffering.

A friend of my son and daughter in law had Irish step dancers come and perform at the wedding. You know I could picture my sister being with them. She was so very talented, dancing, playing the piano, just truely enjoying life when she could. That's the way I'll remember her. That's the way she would want to be remembered.

The wedding reception... are you ready lasted from 3PM to 11PM :) Then back to the hotel for more celebration. We all had breakfast in the AM.

Who's tired?? How do you spell exhausted? ;)

Saturday at the wedding while waiting for the pictures to be taken someone handed me a glass of champagne, I had a quiet toast to my friends here.

When I went to the church for the wedding it was a new church to me.
My mom always said you could make 3 wishes in a new church, ( one that you hadn't been in before is considered new, ) One was made for you. You are all deserving of good things in your life.

May you have as many blessings in your life, as there are shamrocks that grow in Ireland.

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