Question to All women - Page 2

gina montagu · January 22nd, 2011, 07:41 PM

I have read your thread , and the responses with interest , and in my response , please understand my only concern is to help you solve your dilemma . . As 0ther repondents have already suggested , you should step outside yourself for a few moments , and conside you as a detached person , study yourself mentally . Ask yourself some questions , honestly . Could it be possible that you feel more comfortable in the company of women ?. Many , many women seek the company of their own gender , and it is possible for you to reconcile this with your obvious religous beliefs .

unknown-ml · January 23rd, 2011, 10:38 PM

thank you gennie45, i am never going to have sex. according to men's standards i am too ugly for a relationship. and i beleive they are right. thank you for your input.

moniker · February 14th, 2011, 08:01 PM

The pain can be lessened with masturbation. To my knowledge, no religion speaks against female masturbation and some religions even encourage it even if they discourage male masturbation.

From your questions, I think you are focusing too much on the pain and forgetting that this is a bond between you and your future husband...sort of like if you have a child, yes it will hurt but you aren't just doing this for the heck of it. The vagina is also stretchy. It accommodates a penis and is made to accommodate an entire other human being (a baby), so certainly it can stretch! Even with some of the pain associated with first-time sex, there still is pleasure associated with it. The biggest problem women have is not relaxing. Like you, they freak out about stuff they've heard and think that it's not okay for a woman to enjoy sex so they clam up and try to think about something else until it's all over. That is not what nature or God intended! Plus, tightening up out of fear makes it hurt...it's when you relax that all the "feel good" nerves down there really get to do their job.

unknown-ml · February 17th, 2011, 02:35 AM

Its not going to feel good.

unknown-ml · February 20th, 2011, 10:49 PM

my psycologist told me that i dont have to love myself to be loved. how do you love yourself? that is impossible. God made me facially unattractive to men.

gina montagu · February 21st, 2011, 11:54 PM

UNKNOWN . My heart goes out to you in your predicament. I realise that your religion is of utmost importance to you , so the following thought keeps that fully in mind , and my only objective is to be of some assistance to you . forgive me for observing that many women find the companionship of another woman can be very fulfilling . perhaps you should explore and find if any / many of your friends are of like disposition .

unknown-ml · February 22nd, 2011, 12:28 AM

gina i am not a lesbo and i dont have any friends

Elusive Unicorn · February 22nd, 2011, 12:41 PM

((( unknown-ml ))) eveyone needs friends. Most in here would be more then happy to be your friend. You just have to let us.

unknown-ml · February 22nd, 2011, 01:47 PM

unicorn, why would you want to be, im a very negative person, no one wants to be around that.

petrol head · May 16th, 2011, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unknown-ml

Hi, this is my first time here. I am single, never married, and still a virgin, im 45. I am not in nor have i ever been in a relationship. i may some day (which i doubt), and get married which requires sex. i am not looking forward to that, in fact im dreading it. now, my question is this: what was your first time like? how did you deal with the pain? what did you think about before, during and after? since it hurt, why did you do it again?

my religious beliefs are keeping me from having sex till marriage. thank you for your time.

hi in my expereance it did not the man i was with was very gentle so just went very slow and it did not hert at all
dont think all girls have pain as long as the man you are with is slow and gentle with you there should be very little if any
good luck and i know religious beliefs are good but dont let them rule your life if you like the man and it feels right then dont let them rule you and stop you .

sistergirl · May 16th, 2011, 08:03 PM

unknown, I am curious as to how you went from being 45 to 46 in three months (according to your older posts) or was that a typo? May I suggest you remain in therapy, because you might find a way to accept you for you and beauty is in the eye

of the beholder. What makes you think you are ugly? Have people in your life told you this, or is this how you view yourself? This I believe is very important information. You

do come across as negative and in your own mind, hopeless. But unknown, no one is hopeless if they want to change their life. Do you work, go to school or are you involved in any activities, hobbies with others? Personality I believe plays a much more important

role in how a person is perceived by another and as long as you remain negative, honestly and as you said, no one will want to be around you. Read, listen, learn from

others, and a good therapist about how to improve your life, your feelings about yourself, your attitude about intimacy. May I ask what religion you are? Perhaps it's not about

not wanting sex so much as it might be about the fear of intimacy...something to ponder and maybe discuss with your therapist. I surely wish you well.

sistergirl · May 16th, 2011, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unknown-ml

unicorn, why would you want to be, im a very negative person, no one wants to be around that.

I would like to ask you to list something good about you.

sistergirl · May 17th, 2011, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sistergirl

unknown,May I suggest you remain in therapy, because you might find a way to accept you for you and beauty is in the eye

of the beholder. What makes you think you are ugly? Have people in your life told you this, or is this how you view yourself? This I believe is very important information. You

do come across as negative and in your own mind, hopeless. But unknown, no one is hopeless if they want to change their life. Do you work, go to school or are you involved in any activities, hobbies with others? Personality I believe plays a much more important

role in how a person is perceived by another and as long as you remain negative, honestly and as you said, no one will want to be around you. Read, listen, learn from

others, and a good therapist about how to improve your life, your feelings about yourself, your attitude about intimacy. May I ask what religion you are? Perhaps it's not about

not wanting sex so much as it might be about the fear of intimacy...something to ponder and maybe discuss with your therapist. I surely wish you well.

sistergirl · May 17th, 2011, 05:38 PM

oops, I realized that is is possible to go from 45 - 46 in three months (haha) so tried to edit the post and instead it duplicated...so please excuse.

Jennifer23 · May 17th, 2011, 09:08 PM

unknown, I'm not in your shoes, so I don't know what you're going through. I get depressed sometimes and when I do, I think of this guy, Jim. He was in his early 70's when he closed his eyes for the final time. People called him "Bent over Jimmy" because he had to walk with his back at a severe angle because of a physical condition. Yet, he was always smiling and saying hi to people. I don't think that I could do that under similar circumstances. So, I guess we have to be Bent over Jimmies sometimes. I know this probably didn't help, but maybe it gives you another perspective on things.

January 22nd, 2011, 07:41 PM	#16
gina montagu gina Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: australia Posts: 8	gina I have read your thread , and the responses with interest , and in my response , please understand my only concern is to help you solve your dilemma . . As 0ther repondents have already suggested , you should step outside yourself for a few moments , and conside you as a detached person , study yourself mentally . Ask yourself some questions , honestly . Could it be possible that you feel more comfortable in the company of women ?. Many , many women seek the company of their own gender , and it is possible for you to reconcile this with your obvious religous beliefs .

February 21st, 2011, 11:54 PM	#21
gina montagu gina Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: australia Posts: 8	gina montagu UNKNOWN . My heart goes out to you in your predicament. I realise that your religion is of utmost importance to you , so the following thought keeps that fully in mind , and my only objective is to be of some assistance to you . forgive me for observing that many women find the companionship of another woman can be very fulfilling . perhaps you should explore and find if any / many of your friends are of like disposition .

February 22nd, 2011, 12:41 PM	#23
Elusive Unicorn Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Utica,NY Posts: 806	((( unknown-ml ))) eveyone needs friends. Most in here would be more then happy to be your friend. You just have to let us. __________________ Any and all typos I may make are in the name of science. My tests will be conclued when ever I get around to it.

January 23rd, 2011, 10:38 PM	#17
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	thank you gennie45, i am never going to have sex. according to men's standards i am too ugly for a relationship. and i beleive they are right. thank you for your input.

February 14th, 2011, 08:01 PM	#18
moniker Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 44	The pain can be lessened with masturbation. To my knowledge, no religion speaks against female masturbation and some religions even encourage it even if they discourage male masturbation. From your questions, I think you are focusing too much on the pain and forgetting that this is a bond between you and your future husband...sort of like if you have a child, yes it will hurt but you aren't just doing this for the heck of it. The vagina is also stretchy. It accommodates a penis and is made to accommodate an entire other human being (a baby), so certainly it can stretch! Even with some of the pain associated with first-time sex, there still is pleasure associated with it. The biggest problem women have is not relaxing. Like you, they freak out about stuff they've heard and think that it's not okay for a woman to enjoy sex so they clam up and try to think about something else until it's all over. That is not what nature or God intended! Plus, tightening up out of fear makes it hurt...it's when you relax that all the "feel good" nerves down there really get to do their job.

February 17th, 2011, 02:35 AM	#19
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	Its not going to feel good.

February 20th, 2011, 10:49 PM	#20
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	my psycologist told me that i dont have to love myself to be loved. how do you love yourself? that is impossible. God made me facially unattractive to men.

February 22nd, 2011, 12:28 AM	#22
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	gina i am not a lesbo and i dont have any friends

February 22nd, 2011, 01:47 PM	#24
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	unicorn, why would you want to be, im a very negative person, no one wants to be around that.

May 16th, 2011, 08:03 PM	#26
sistergirl Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 648	unknown, I am curious as to how you went from being 45 to 46 in three months (according to your older posts) or was that a typo? May I suggest you remain in therapy, because you might find a way to accept you for you and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What makes you think you are ugly? Have people in your life told you this, or is this how you view yourself? This I believe is very important information. You do come across as negative and in your own mind, hopeless. But unknown, no one is hopeless if they want to change their life. Do you work, go to school or are you involved in any activities, hobbies with others? Personality I believe plays a much more important role in how a person is perceived by another and as long as you remain negative, honestly and as you said, no one will want to be around you. Read, listen, learn from others, and a good therapist about how to improve your life, your feelings about yourself, your attitude about intimacy. May I ask what religion you are? Perhaps it's not about not wanting sex so much as it might be about the fear of intimacy...something to ponder and maybe discuss with your therapist. I surely wish you well.

May 17th, 2011, 05:38 PM	#29
sistergirl Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 648	oops, I realized that is is possible to go from 45 - 46 in three months (haha) so tried to edit the post and instead it duplicated...so please excuse.

May 17th, 2011, 09:08 PM	#30
Jennifer23 Jennifer23 Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 3,187	unknown, I'm not in your shoes, so I don't know what you're going through. I get depressed sometimes and when I do, I think of this guy, Jim. He was in his early 70's when he closed his eyes for the final time. People called him "Bent over Jimmy" because he had to walk with his back at a severe angle because of a physical condition. Yet, he was always smiling and saying hi to people. I don't think that I could do that under similar circumstances. So, I guess we have to be Bent over Jimmies sometimes. I know this probably didn't help, but maybe it gives you another perspective on things.