Is love real or make believe? - Page 6

Jennifer23 · July 7th, 2011, 11:16 PM

Unknown, I think there may be a reason for everything that happens to us. Native Americans always considered the retarded children within their tribes as God's special people, and treated them that way. They were way ahead of us as far as caring goes. I know that my last comment doesn't apply to you, but life is fleeting, so try to make the best of it while you're here because once you get to the Hereafter, you could be special, too. Like me, I hope.

unknown-ml · July 8th, 2011, 12:58 AM

i just want to be loved by a man, but i guess that is too much too hope for. all the rejections that i have had has taught me, is that i am unwanted by them. i dont know if any of you have been unwanted but it makes me feel like a worthless person. and i just cant get past that.

IRISH_EYES_99 · July 8th, 2011, 06:53 PM

[quote=Jennifer23;63789]Unknown, I think there may be a reason for everything that happens to us. Native Americans always considered the retarded children within their tribes as God's special people, and treated them that way. They were way ahead of us as far as caring goes. I know that my last comment doesn't apply to you, but life is fleeting, so try to make the best of it while you're here because once you get to the Hereafter, you could be special, too. Like me, I hope.[/QUOTE/]

Unknown ml If you reread the quote above from Jennifer it should help put things into a better prespective for you. The Down Syndrom child will give love unconditionally.. A lot of Special Ed kids are the same way.

You need to try & look past the rejection. ( we have all had rejections in our lives, many times over.) Start anew. Keep the friends you have, be there, be positive. When you're positive you get positive feedback. .. Are you keeping a journal? I can't stress enough how much that would help. Put a positive thought in it each day. .. Ex " What a nice day the sun was shining, & I was able to go for a walk. " Take the time to see little miracles in your life. the flowers the trees.. Always told my kids when the wind is blowing the leaves on the tree are waving hello, the birds singing are singing for you to have a nice day. Take small steps but positive steps. Keep positive people around you. Don't let those that reject you win. You win this battle one step, one day, one moment at a time. Baby steps. Keep jouraling.
Have a day with some positive thoughts in it, it will help boost your confidence in life. Good luck to you. Here's a hug to help you in the right direction. (((((((( Unknown-ml )))))))) Here's one for anyone else that wants it. ((((((((( hug))))))))) .

sistergirl · July 8th, 2011, 09:46 PM

I sure hope people don't take this the wrong way, but I see a very dark cloud that I refuse to stand under.
And yes people do get married at all ages for the first time. I had a gf who married at age 50 for the first time...no lie! Good luck, you are going to need it ml.

sistergirl · July 8th, 2011, 09:53 PM

Irish, I read your post after I posted. Some people in life do not want to change. I see it in my work and I use to try and change them, to no avail. Now I do what I can, listen, encourage and if they do not want to change...so be it.

It is their life, their choice and I only have one life on this earth and I think I will reserve my energy (mental and otherwise) for myself and the people around me who care enough to live a better life. I have had much negativity in my past and am a much happier person now since I made the decision to change my thinking and my choices.

What I have learned from past experiences, is that I refuse to be dragged down by people who want to share their darkness with me but refuse to even make one attempt to change it.

sistergirl · July 8th, 2011, 09:56 PM

Jennifer, that was so beautiful.

Jennifer23 · July 8th, 2011, 10:27 PM

Thanks Sister and Irish. A lot of times it's not easy to have a positive attitude. All of us go through periods like that, but the advice Irish gave was true. Sometimes little things mean a lot. So Unknown, just smiling as someone passes you may give you a smile back. It may not seem like much, but believe me - it makes you feel better.

unknown-ml · July 9th, 2011, 01:59 AM

at work i put on fake smiles just to make it through my shift. i just wish my smiles could be real for a change. im just tired of being a phoney. irish, you make it sound so easy to give myself positive thoughts. its not that easy. even though i wish it was. and yes i have tried it, my mind keeps going back to the thought that nobody wants me and down i go again.

IRISH_EYES_99 · July 10th, 2011, 01:05 AM

Excuse me unknown-ml #1 you don't know me. Have no clue as to what I've been though. Like Sistergirl I had to work though a lot of adversity in my life. It was a decision that took time & effort to do.. had to be done. Because of the changes that I worked out in my life.. My life is better. Again you havent' a clue. I'd hand you one but you'd refuse it & blame me. Anyway positive thoughts that are real work. Smiles that are at first shy but become easier in time WORK. YOu have to WORK at getting rid of the "Woe is me" attitude. Only you can do it. A lot of us had to overcome things in our lives as Sistergirl said. Journal see if it helps. Guarantee that if you work at it, you will overcome it with time... and feel better, be better because of the changes. Once again good luck.

We are not dr's of any sort. We don't even play one on TV or in here. Who we are are women who have lived our lives. Made changes where they were need to be made. We are willing to listen, but God helps those who also help themselves. Footsteps to take them you have to pick up your feet & move them... can't do that for you. Only you can.

Thank you Sistegirl & Jennifer You're kind , & thoughtful and for the record appreciated for your helpful ways.

unknown-ml · July 10th, 2011, 05:44 PM

ok, i dont stay where i'm not wanted. bye

unknown-ml · July 10th, 2011, 10:33 PM

hi every one, my life is wonderful, i dont have any problems at all. now how is that for positive. my life has again became a lie. but no one wants the real me, they want a lie. thank you all for the advise. bye

Ladylovely · July 11th, 2011, 12:21 AM

Hello Lady bug, I just wanted to tell you I read your post and to tell you that God created you special Nothing God created was ugly or a waste You are Beautiful, Valuable, and worth more than your weight in Gold of fine jewels!! And just because the looser men around you have not figured that out yet doesn't mean you're never going to find someone who will love you and treat you like the Queen you are! Never talk bad about yourself EVER!!! You are beautiful you have to learn to LOVE U first before anyone else can a lesson I had to learn also and I'm still working on it also and no its not easy to do when you've been single for so long like I have I'm 31 and single not even so much of a date in OMG too long I'd say!!!! U hang in there and remember U are beautiful and there is noone who can change that!!! When ever u wanna talk just let me know I've been through a lot and can help ya if you want!!

GiaBella · July 11th, 2011, 01:44 AM

Unknown! Don't give up on this yet! I replied on this subject a while back and said I don't believe in love and I still stand by my word but everyone has their own beleifs and hopes depending on how they were brought up. I see that you're on the fence about love and don't know which side you wanna be on but I know that you still have hope that you'll find love before your time is up cause you're still talking about it, so that's very positive on your part. And I know how annoying it could be when people say that beauty comes from within and that's what men are looking for when falling in love, but of course we all know it's a little white lie we tell ourselves as an excuse for failed relationships and hormonal issues. Stop going to a phsycologist and save that mula to get some work done on your appearance. What's stopping you? Do me a favor and reply to the following questions so that I can have a better view of your character outside of the love discussion where you can definatley be titled as a "Debbie Downer" lol. What are your 2 favorite movies? What type of music do you listen to? Would you rather read a book or watch the movie? What is your horoscope sign? What kind of pets do you own? Are you impulsive? If you're not an only child then are you the youngest, oldest, etc.? Describe what you look like; weight, height hair color, etc. (or what movie star do you look like). Don't be pissed that someone actually got frustrated with your responses (or non-response lol). It's hard for people to preach so strongly about their beliefs and fail at converting those preached to.

unknown-ml · July 11th, 2011, 02:06 AM

hi lady lovely and giabella, first, lady even though it has been a long time since you have dated, you have dated and im sure you had friend in school, i didnt and ive never dated. now giabella, quest 1: titanic and narnia quest 2: gospel, oldies & country quest 3: watch the movie quest 4: piseces (fish) quesst 5: none quest 6: no im not quet 7: im the youngest quest 8:im 205 pounds, 5'4, gray hair quest 9; dont have a favorite movie star.

IRISH_EYES_99 · July 13th, 2011, 09:42 PM

Sex & love are not the same. You can love someone without sex. Having sex with someone doesn't mean love, it's gratification of basic needs. There is a difference.

Love is not make believe it is alive & well. There are many different types of love. My husband & I are in love with each other, we both love our children, grandchildren that love is not the same.. yet just as important. We can love our friends does not mean we want to have sex with them, we appreciate them for who they are, and respect them as friends.

Making love is not the same as sleeping with someone ... Making love is a culmination of our feelings toward each other. Sleeping with someone is for instant gratification. Therefore they are not the same.

Love is alive & well.

July 8th, 2011, 06:53 PM	#78
IRISH_EYES_99 Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: in the state of confusion :) Posts: 3,524	[quote=Jennifer23;63789]Unknown, I think there may be a reason for everything that happens to us. Native Americans always considered the retarded children within their tribes as God's special people, and treated them that way. They were way ahead of us as far as caring goes. I know that my last comment doesn't apply to you, but life is fleeting, so try to make the best of it while you're here because once you get to the Hereafter, you could be special, too. Like me, I hope.[/QUOTE/] Unknown ml If you reread the quote above from Jennifer it should help put things into a better prespective for you. The Down Syndrom child will give love unconditionally.. A lot of Special Ed kids are the same way. You need to try & look past the rejection. ( we have all had rejections in our lives, many times over.) Start anew. Keep the friends you have, be there, be positive. When you're positive you get positive feedback. .. Are you keeping a journal? I can't stress enough how much that would help. Put a positive thought in it each day. .. Ex " What a nice day the sun was shining, & I was able to go for a walk. " Take the time to see little miracles in your life. the flowers the trees.. Always told my kids when the wind is blowing the leaves on the tree are waving hello, the birds singing are singing for you to have a nice day. Take small steps but positive steps. Keep positive people around you. Don't let those that reject you win. You win this battle one step, one day, one moment at a time. Baby steps. Keep jouraling. Have a day with some positive thoughts in it, it will help boost your confidence in life. Good luck to you. Here's a hug to help you in the right direction. (((((((( Unknown-ml )))))))) Here's one for anyone else that wants it. ((((((((( hug))))))))) . __________________ Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *

July 10th, 2011, 01:05 AM	#84
IRISH_EYES_99 Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: in the state of confusion :) Posts: 3,524	Excuse me unknown-ml #1 you don't know me. Have no clue as to what I've been though. Like Sistergirl I had to work though a lot of adversity in my life. It was a decision that took time & effort to do.. had to be done. Because of the changes that I worked out in my life.. My life is better. Again you havent' a clue. I'd hand you one but you'd refuse it & blame me. Anyway positive thoughts that are real work. Smiles that are at first shy but become easier in time WORK. YOu have to WORK at getting rid of the "Woe is me" attitude. Only you can do it. A lot of us had to overcome things in our lives as Sistergirl said. Journal see if it helps. Guarantee that if you work at it, you will overcome it with time... and feel better, be better because of the changes. Once again good luck. We are not dr's of any sort. We don't even play one on TV or in here. Who we are are women who have lived our lives. Made changes where they were need to be made. We are willing to listen, but God helps those who also help themselves. Footsteps to take them you have to pick up your feet & move them... can't do that for you. Only you can. Thank you Sistegirl & Jennifer You're kind , & thoughtful and for the record appreciated for your helpful ways. __________________ Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *

July 13th, 2011, 09:42 PM	#90
IRISH_EYES_99 Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: in the state of confusion :) Posts: 3,524	Sex & love are not the same. You can love someone without sex. Having sex with someone doesn't mean love, it's gratification of basic needs. There is a difference. Love is not make believe it is alive & well. There are many different types of love. My husband & I are in love with each other, we both love our children, grandchildren that love is not the same.. yet just as important. We can love our friends does not mean we want to have sex with them, we appreciate them for who they are, and respect them as friends. Making love is not the same as sleeping with someone ... Making love is a culmination of our feelings toward each other. Sleeping with someone is for instant gratification. Therefore they are not the same. Love is alive & well. __________________ Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *

July 7th, 2011, 11:16 PM	#76
Jennifer23 Jennifer23 Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 3,187	Unknown, I think there may be a reason for everything that happens to us. Native Americans always considered the retarded children within their tribes as God's special people, and treated them that way. They were way ahead of us as far as caring goes. I know that my last comment doesn't apply to you, but life is fleeting, so try to make the best of it while you're here because once you get to the Hereafter, you could be special, too. Like me, I hope.

July 8th, 2011, 12:58 AM	#77
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	i just want to be loved by a man, but i guess that is too much too hope for. all the rejections that i have had has taught me, is that i am unwanted by them. i dont know if any of you have been unwanted but it makes me feel like a worthless person. and i just cant get past that.

July 8th, 2011, 09:46 PM	#79
sistergirl Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 648	I sure hope people don't take this the wrong way, but I see a very dark cloud that I refuse to stand under. And yes people do get married at all ages for the first time. I had a gf who married at age 50 for the first time...no lie! Good luck, you are going to need it ml.

July 8th, 2011, 09:53 PM	#80
sistergirl Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 648	Irish, I read your post after I posted. Some people in life do not want to change. I see it in my work and I use to try and change them, to no avail. Now I do what I can, listen, encourage and if they do not want to change...so be it. It is their life, their choice and I only have one life on this earth and I think I will reserve my energy (mental and otherwise) for myself and the people around me who care enough to live a better life. I have had much negativity in my past and am a much happier person now since I made the decision to change my thinking and my choices. What I have learned from past experiences, is that I refuse to be dragged down by people who want to share their darkness with me but refuse to even make one attempt to change it.

July 8th, 2011, 09:56 PM	#81
sistergirl Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 648	Jennifer, that was so beautiful.

July 8th, 2011, 10:27 PM	#82
Jennifer23 Jennifer23 Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 3,187	Thanks Sister and Irish. A lot of times it's not easy to have a positive attitude. All of us go through periods like that, but the advice Irish gave was true. Sometimes little things mean a lot. So Unknown, just smiling as someone passes you may give you a smile back. It may not seem like much, but believe me - it makes you feel better.

July 9th, 2011, 01:59 AM	#83
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	at work i put on fake smiles just to make it through my shift. i just wish my smiles could be real for a change. im just tired of being a phoney. irish, you make it sound so easy to give myself positive thoughts. its not that easy. even though i wish it was. and yes i have tried it, my mind keeps going back to the thought that nobody wants me and down i go again.

July 10th, 2011, 05:44 PM	#85
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	ok, i dont stay where i'm not wanted. bye

July 10th, 2011, 10:33 PM	#86
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	hi every one, my life is wonderful, i dont have any problems at all. now how is that for positive. my life has again became a lie. but no one wants the real me, they want a lie. thank you all for the advise. bye

July 11th, 2011, 12:21 AM	#87
Ladylovely Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: USA Posts: 4	Hello Lady bug, I just wanted to tell you I read your post and to tell you that God created you special Nothing God created was ugly or a waste You are Beautiful, Valuable, and worth more than your weight in Gold of fine jewels!! And just because the looser men around you have not figured that out yet doesn't mean you're never going to find someone who will love you and treat you like the Queen you are! Never talk bad about yourself EVER!!! You are beautiful you have to learn to LOVE U first before anyone else can a lesson I had to learn also and I'm still working on it also and no its not easy to do when you've been single for so long like I have I'm 31 and single not even so much of a date in OMG too long I'd say!!!! U hang in there and remember U are beautiful and there is noone who can change that!!! When ever u wanna talk just let me know I've been through a lot and can help ya if you want!!

July 11th, 2011, 01:44 AM	#88
GiaBella Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 5	Unknown! Don't give up on this yet! I replied on this subject a while back and said I don't believe in love and I still stand by my word but everyone has their own beleifs and hopes depending on how they were brought up. I see that you're on the fence about love and don't know which side you wanna be on but I know that you still have hope that you'll find love before your time is up cause you're still talking about it, so that's very positive on your part. And I know how annoying it could be when people say that beauty comes from within and that's what men are looking for when falling in love, but of course we all know it's a little white lie we tell ourselves as an excuse for failed relationships and hormonal issues. Stop going to a phsycologist and save that mula to get some work done on your appearance. What's stopping you? Do me a favor and reply to the following questions so that I can have a better view of your character outside of the love discussion where you can definatley be titled as a "Debbie Downer" lol. What are your 2 favorite movies? What type of music do you listen to? Would you rather read a book or watch the movie? What is your horoscope sign? What kind of pets do you own? Are you impulsive? If you're not an only child then are you the youngest, oldest, etc.? Describe what you look like; weight, height hair color, etc. (or what movie star do you look like). Don't be pissed that someone actually got frustrated with your responses (or non-response lol). It's hard for people to preach so strongly about their beliefs and fail at converting those preached to.

July 11th, 2011, 02:06 AM	#89
unknown-ml Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 71	hi lady lovely and giabella, first, lady even though it has been a long time since you have dated, you have dated and im sure you had friend in school, i didnt and ive never dated. now giabella, quest 1: titanic and narnia quest 2: gospel, oldies & country quest 3: watch the movie quest 4: piseces (fish) quesst 5: none quest 6: no im not quet 7: im the youngest quest 8:im 205 pounds, 5'4, gray hair quest 9; dont have a favorite movie star.