Mothers

*Adallina* · July 18th, 2011, 09:47 AM

Hi there.
So heres the thing. My mum and I used to be so close we were best friends. I am now 24 and I have had to move home while my fiancé attends a short uni course. I was so excited to be coming home for 8 months and being able to spend time with my mum.
I got here and nothing is the same. She barely talks to me where w used to stay up for hours chatting. She constantly seems angry at me and I have no idea why. She doesn't tell me anything it's like I'm not allowed to know eg dads been on the phone to the bank alot lately and I asked her what he was getting a loan for and she replied "I don't know it's his thing I don't know anything about it" (mum and dad have no secrets) anyways he came up to her after he got off the phone and was talking about the bank and she said "you never should have gone through the bank they won't gie you the loan" so she obviously knew what was going on. This was when I started feeling strange like things have seriously changed. Today I found out my dad is buying her a car. So I said "so your getting a new car? That's cool" and all she had to say was "who told you". So anyways I dunno I just wonder what has happened to us. Nothing major has occured no fights or anything but just sudden coldness which makes me feel like she doesn't want me here and I am inconveniencing everyone.
Anyway I don't really have anyone to talk to so I thought I'd try this kind of place.
Thanks for listening

crazymomma · July 19th, 2011, 01:11 AM

(((Adallina))) Did you try making a pot of tea, sitting her down and let her know how you feel. Ask her if there is a problem with you being there and then tell her you love her nad miss how close you were. My mom passed 2 years ago and I miss her every day. My grown daughter lives about a 1/2 hour drive away and with how often we talk it may was well be a hundred. I miss how close we use to be. Now she never seems to even find time to call. I know it works both ways but I always seem to be calling her. Oh well our kids grow up and go away. The sad part is that some times they seem to grow away too. Good luck Hon. Maybe mom just didn't know how you feel.

IRISH_EYES_99 · July 19th, 2011, 10:23 PM

Adalina, I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. When you moved out with your boyfriend was it a surprise to your mom, had you talked about it before hand? What crazymomma said about sitting down & having a cup of tea, coffee whatever & trying to discuss feelings.
Is she feeling the empty nest syndrome. Try opening up a comfortable communication & hopefully this will work. Sounds like she's feeling hurt about something.. so this is her way of acting it out. Try the tea, coffee, or even just the two of you going out for lunch.
Good luck.

July 18th, 2011, 09:47 AM	#1
Adallina Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 2	Mothers Hi there. So heres the thing. My mum and I used to be so close we were best friends. I am now 24 and I have had to move home while my fiancé attends a short uni course. I was so excited to be coming home for 8 months and being able to spend time with my mum. I got here and nothing is the same. She barely talks to me where w used to stay up for hours chatting. She constantly seems angry at me and I have no idea why. She doesn't tell me anything it's like I'm not allowed to know eg dads been on the phone to the bank alot lately and I asked her what he was getting a loan for and she replied "I don't know it's his thing I don't know anything about it" (mum and dad have no secrets) anyways he came up to her after he got off the phone and was talking about the bank and she said "you never should have gone through the bank they won't gie you the loan" so she obviously knew what was going on. This was when I started feeling strange like things have seriously changed. Today I found out my dad is buying her a car. So I said "so your getting a new car? That's cool" and all she had to say was "who told you". So anyways I dunno I just wonder what has happened to us. Nothing major has occured no fights or anything but just sudden coldness which makes me feel like she doesn't want me here and I am inconveniencing everyone. Anyway I don't really have anyone to talk to so I thought I'd try this kind of place. Thanks for listening

July 19th, 2011, 01:11 AM	#2
crazymomma awesome cookie lady Join Date: May 2003 Location: Leechburgh, PA Posts: 1,993	(((Adallina))) Did you try making a pot of tea, sitting her down and let her know how you feel. Ask her if there is a problem with you being there and then tell her you love her nad miss how close you were. My mom passed 2 years ago and I miss her every day. My grown daughter lives about a 1/2 hour drive away and with how often we talk it may was well be a hundred. I miss how close we use to be. Now she never seems to even find time to call. I know it works both ways but I always seem to be calling her. Oh well our kids grow up and go away. The sad part is that some times they seem to grow away too. Good luck Hon. Maybe mom just didn't know how you feel. __________________ It feels like home to me. Bonnie Rhatt

July 19th, 2011, 10:23 PM	#3
IRISH_EYES_99 Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: in the state of confusion :) Posts: 3,524	Adalina, I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. When you moved out with your boyfriend was it a surprise to your mom, had you talked about it before hand? What crazymomma said about sitting down & having a cup of tea, coffee whatever & trying to discuss feelings. Is she feeling the empty nest syndrome. Try opening up a comfortable communication & hopefully this will work. Sounds like she's feeling hurt about something.. so this is her way of acting it out. Try the tea, coffee, or even just the two of you going out for lunch. Good luck. __________________ Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *