Depression - Page 17

Stellata · November 15th, 2008, 02:59 AM

Stress can have all kinds of effects on the body.
I've had all kind of physical symptoms, mainly aches and pains, as part of depression.
Mainly, as you say, any physical symptom is a reminder to listen to your body, yourself.

naterie · March 16th, 2010, 05:46 PM

I have 4 children grown, 2 of my daughters have lost there jobs, have 2 kids each and 1 of them, is pergant with her 3rd,both call me everyday with there problems and then when I try to help them its never good enough, or they dont like what I have to say so they dont take my advise,thats ok, but they both are needing a place to move, it will be the 7th time for the pregant one, everytime she is pregant she needs to move in, it would be the 3rd time for the other daughter. I love my girls but they have stressed me out so much lately that the thought of them moving in makes me cry I dont want to get out of bed in the morning or turn on the phone for fear they will call in need of something, as it has happend everyday for 3 months now, and if it wernt for the grandbabies I wouldnt. am I a bad mother? oh man how do you stop the depression

Wolf_angel · March 17th, 2010, 11:30 AM

No this is where you have reached your limits. Just tell them you offer advice only cause they are asking for it. Yet if they dont like it, tis their choice to not use it. Thus they can stop asking for it. Understandable you want to help them. Yet moving in with you only causes depression isnt good either. I know what you are going thru. I have similar situations here as well. The point of this is to set up your boundaries and inform them of the new rules and etc. The next step is to let them know either get with the program or they are on their own. I know it sounds terrible but now is the time to make them realize that actions and etc is having a negative effect on you. This wont be tolerated anymore. So if they want to move in, write up the rules of living in your home. Either they follow them to the letter or just dont move in. Now its their choice. I only wrote this reply in hopes of helping you. For I have done the very things I have done. Makes my life easier. Hugs and good luck!

Belana · May 29th, 2010, 02:39 PM

Hi Wolf_angel,
I just read your post on depression. I’m not sure when all of the turmoil with your grown kids took place but I can tell you this…
The only time I get depressed is when I’m saddled with responsibilities and obligations that I want nothing to do with. I think that’s because that’s all my life’s ever been about which has not left much room for me.
I’m now going to transition from dealing with my family obligations every day to living alone. My family will be far enough away so that they can’t come running to me with every little thing. I think that I will now be able to come back to myself and do what I need to do to improve my health and wellbeing. Something I find virtually impossible to do when I have to take care of family, house and home.
Perhaps the reason you get depressed is because you’re conscious of the fact that the majority of your energy will go to others, even if they are family. It’s my personal experience that family sucks the greatest amount of energy from parents.
I had one summer pretty much to myself. That was the summer where I was at my best and I felt great about myself.

Wolf_angel · May 29th, 2010, 06:18 PM

((((( Belana )))))) Thank you! I have found ways to avoid doing for the "family". They are aware of the why's and etc. That I have more reason now to do what I must for myself than for them. Hence its a bitter pill for them to swallow. Also usually tears my heart apart for saying No and etc. Yet over time I am getting more adept and not feeling more guilt and obligations to them. I love them yet I must do what I must for myself now. I have asked for help in the past and got nothing but more heartache. Thank goodness for Babykitten and Sherry, loving friends who are more my sisters than others know. Thank goodness for all the lovely women who have helped me thru the many tribulations and situations over the years. They are simply the Best! Hugs to all!

crazymomma · June 7th, 2010, 09:13 AM

((((((((((((((((Wolfie,Belana)))))))))))))))))))))

rachel72 · August 9th, 2012, 06:58 AM

I m quite sensitive nature so most of the time i m in depression,it damage you internally very badly.Now i try to get over it by myself.It can take a while to find the right anti-depressant. Don't give up, Don't let the doctors give up. It's worth it!

March 16th, 2010, 05:46 PM	#242
naterie Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2	stressed out and depressed I have 4 children grown, 2 of my daughters have lost there jobs, have 2 kids each and 1 of them, is pergant with her 3rd,both call me everyday with there problems and then when I try to help them its never good enough, or they dont like what I have to say so they dont take my advise,thats ok, but they both are needing a place to move, it will be the 7th time for the pregant one, everytime she is pregant she needs to move in, it would be the 3rd time for the other daughter. I love my girls but they have stressed me out so much lately that the thought of them moving in makes me cry I dont want to get out of bed in the morning or turn on the phone for fear they will call in need of something, as it has happend everyday for 3 months now, and if it wernt for the grandbabies I wouldnt. am I a bad mother? oh man how do you stop the depression

March 17th, 2010, 11:30 AM	#243
Wolf_angel A survivor of chaos Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Where my heart is Posts: 3,147	No this is where you have reached your limits. Just tell them you offer advice only cause they are asking for it. Yet if they dont like it, tis their choice to not use it. Thus they can stop asking for it. Understandable you want to help them. Yet moving in with you only causes depression isnt good either. I know what you are going thru. I have similar situations here as well. The point of this is to set up your boundaries and inform them of the new rules and etc. The next step is to let them know either get with the program or they are on their own. I know it sounds terrible but now is the time to make them realize that actions and etc is having a negative effect on you. This wont be tolerated anymore. So if they want to move in, write up the rules of living in your home. Either they follow them to the letter or just dont move in. Now its their choice. I only wrote this reply in hopes of helping you. For I have done the very things I have done. Makes my life easier. Hugs and good luck! __________________ May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~

May 29th, 2010, 06:18 PM	#245
Wolf_angel A survivor of chaos Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Where my heart is Posts: 3,147	((((( Belana )))))) Thank you! I have found ways to avoid doing for the "family". They are aware of the why's and etc. That I have more reason now to do what I must for myself than for them. Hence its a bitter pill for them to swallow. Also usually tears my heart apart for saying No and etc. Yet over time I am getting more adept and not feeling more guilt and obligations to them. I love them yet I must do what I must for myself now. I have asked for help in the past and got nothing but more heartache. Thank goodness for Babykitten and Sherry, loving friends who are more my sisters than others know. Thank goodness for all the lovely women who have helped me thru the many tribulations and situations over the years. They are simply the Best! Hugs to all! __________________ May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~

June 7th, 2010, 09:13 AM	#246
crazymomma awesome cookie lady Join Date: May 2003 Location: Leechburgh, PA Posts: 1,993	((((((((((((((((Wolfie,Belana))))))))))))))))))))) __________________ It feels like home to me. Bonnie Rhatt

August 9th, 2012, 06:58 AM	#247
rachel72 Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 19	I m quite sensitive nature so most of the time i m in depression,it damage you internally very badly.Now i try to get over it by myself.It can take a while to find the right anti-depressant. Don't give up, Don't let the doctors give up. It's worth it! __________________ rachel72

November 15th, 2008, 02:59 AM	#241
Stellata Registered User Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: London, UK Posts: 7	Stress can have all kinds of effects on the body. I've had all kind of physical symptoms, mainly aches and pains, as part of depression. Mainly, as you say, any physical symptom is a reminder to listen to your body, yourself.

May 29th, 2010, 02:39 PM	#244
Belana Member Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 11	Hi Wolf_angel, I just read your post on depression. I’m not sure when all of the turmoil with your grown kids took place but I can tell you this… The only time I get depressed is when I’m saddled with responsibilities and obligations that I want nothing to do with. I think that’s because that’s all my life’s ever been about which has not left much room for me. I’m now going to transition from dealing with my family obligations every day to living alone. My family will be far enough away so that they can’t come running to me with every little thing. I think that I will now be able to come back to myself and do what I need to do to improve my health and wellbeing. Something I find virtually impossible to do when I have to take care of family, house and home. Perhaps the reason you get depressed is because you’re conscious of the fact that the majority of your energy will go to others, even if they are family. It’s my personal experience that family sucks the greatest amount of energy from parents. I had one summer pretty much to myself. That was the summer where I was at my best and I felt great about myself.