Question - Page 2

Kitty P · July 23rd, 2008, 02:37 PM

IRISH, You are right. I do need to sit down & talk to my mother. She was 63 @ the time. But my mother & I have never been able to sit down & have a conversation. She always thought I was feeling sorry for myself. I guess in a way there is like a grief & loss between the two of us. I always thought that my mom always had it against me because she was 16 when she had me, & I do look a lot like my dad. You are right. I need to really listen to him in my dreams. Maybe some where in there,there is a very important message from him. Thanks a lot.

July 24th, 2008, 10:24 AM

My heart is aching like yours, and yet sometimes I just feel numb - so many losses in such a short period of time. The lonliness is almost unbearable, and most of the time I feel that no one else in the world could possibly relate. So even though I feel so sorry for your pain its comforting to know that I'm not alone. May today be a littler happier for us!

beAtitude · July 26th, 2008, 12:23 AM

My husband (many will remember me talking about "Old Dirt") died last Christmas Eve, 2007. He had metastatic prostate cancer that caused horrible suffering for him in the last months, and I have often said that I think I have PTSD in the wake of the experience. Two months before he died, a hospice nurse told me that I was going to go through everything that he would go through, and it turned out to be the gospel truth!

I used to think that I could empathize with widows, but now I know it is impossible unless you have been through it. Like you, RJS, I have lost a number of loved ones. One time there were five within a one-year time span, which really knocked me off my feet and was the main reason that I moved from a large city to rural Montana, to just get away from it all. The last seven months have been tough, of course, and those people are right who say it just takes time. There's no way to walk around it; you just have to go straight through it. The moments of raging grief can come unexpectedly and be triggered by just about anything mundane, like a sappy commercial on TV or something like that.

Anyway, my greatest comfort now is realizing that since my husband is not suffering anymore, he wouldn't want me to suffer either. I try to go forward the way I think he would want me to -- and thank God for God. My faith is what has carried me through.

By the way -- {{{{{{{hi, there, Irish Eyes!}}}}}}}

IRISH_EYES_99 · July 26th, 2008, 11:05 AM

(((((((((( beAtitude ))))))))))),

Sending good thoughts your way. Good to see you. (((((((((((( extra hug because I can )))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))

rjsfeminist · October 24th, 2008, 12:16 PM

Today's the 2nd anniversary of friend-hubby's death...Been moping around the past couple of days, no energy, etc., and then realized what was coming and thought, Well, of course I'm going to be in a funk for a few days. Still have a lawsuit pending against the hospital where he died...

PoohsBigSister · October 24th, 2008, 03:33 PM

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((rj)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry hon.... my thoughts are with you !!!!

rjsfeminist · October 24th, 2008, 08:51 PM

Thanks, ((PBS)).

IRISH_EYES_99 · October 27th, 2008, 11:05 PM

((((((((((((((((( rjfeminist))))))))))))))))))))))))))),

2 yrs is still a short time. When you've lost someone you loved so much, the healing process needs it's own time. Not everyone has the same period of grief. Especially having the law suit still pending with the hospital. It has to make the pain that much greater.

Wishing you healing. Time while the clocks all read the same time. Time moves differently for each of us. With all the old adages it waits for no one, yet it moves ever so slowly when there is a sadness about us. Other times it seems to grow wings as big as dragons & fly by leaving us to gasp, where did it go???

Again I wish you healing in your heart. An extra bucket of hugs are here for the taking.
Know that we are here. We care.

DACDjr · October 28th, 2008, 06:20 PM

Along with what Irish so beautifully wrote.. We love you and are here..

(((((((((( rj ))))))))))

rjsfeminist · October 29th, 2008, 10:55 PM

Thanks, (((everyone))).

Yeah, Irish, the lawsuit has seemed to slow the healing a little...I'll have a great (or, at least, good) week, then BAM! another round of stuff from the lawyers. But I have to keep going. Could've settled with the hospital last Feb. for 6-figures. The big thing, though, is that I'd have to be quiet about the hospital and could NOT, under any circumstances, tell anyone what the hospital did. I couldn't warn anyone about the crappy care, nothing. So, while it does slow things down, I know that, in the end, it'll be worth it, especially if it keeps others from going through what hubby went through.

Again, thanks.

July 23rd, 2008, 02:37 PM	#16
Kitty P Registered User Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 16	IRISH, You are right. I do need to sit down & talk to my mother. She was 63 @ the time. But my mother & I have never been able to sit down & have a conversation. She always thought I was feeling sorry for myself. I guess in a way there is like a grief & loss between the two of us. I always thought that my mom always had it against me because she was 16 when she had me, & I do look a lot like my dad. You are right. I need to really listen to him in my dreams. Maybe some where in there,there is a very important message from him. Thanks a lot. __________________

July 26th, 2008, 11:05 AM	#19
IRISH_EYES_99 Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: in the state of confusion :) Posts: 3,524	(((((((((( beAtitude ))))))))))), Sending good thoughts your way. Good to see you. (((((((((((( extra hug because I can )))))))))))) )))))))))))))))) __________________ Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *

October 24th, 2008, 03:33 PM	#21
PoohsBigSister Long Live WOW!! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: CO Posts: 1,791	((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((rj))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm sorry hon.... my thoughts are with you !!!! __________________ "Life is a flower of which love is the honey." Victor Hugo

October 27th, 2008, 11:05 PM	#23
IRISH_EYES_99 Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: in the state of confusion :) Posts: 3,524	((((((((((((((((( rjfeminist))))))))))))))))))))))))))), 2 yrs is still a short time. When you've lost someone you loved so much, the healing process needs it's own time. Not everyone has the same period of grief. Especially having the law suit still pending with the hospital. It has to make the pain that much greater. Wishing you healing. Time while the clocks all read the same time. Time moves differently for each of us. With all the old adages it waits for no one, yet it moves ever so slowly when there is a sadness about us. Other times it seems to grow wings as big as dragons & fly by leaving us to gasp, where did it go??? Again I wish you healing in your heart. An extra bucket of hugs are here for the taking. Know that we are here. We care. __________________ Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *

October 28th, 2008, 06:20 PM	#24
DACDjr Senior Memeber Join Date: May 2001 Location: Indiana Posts: 864	Along with what Irish so beautifully wrote.. We love you and are here.. (((((((((( rj )))))))))) __________________ KAP-AJS

July 24th, 2008, 10:24 AM	#17
mommamo Guest Posts: n/a	My heart is aching like yours, and yet sometimes I just feel numb - so many losses in such a short period of time. The lonliness is almost unbearable, and most of the time I feel that no one else in the world could possibly relate. So even though I feel so sorry for your pain its comforting to know that I'm not alone. May today be a littler happier for us!

July 26th, 2008, 12:23 AM	#18
beAtitude Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Location: Montana Posts: 1	My husband (many will remember me talking about "Old Dirt") died last Christmas Eve, 2007. He had metastatic prostate cancer that caused horrible suffering for him in the last months, and I have often said that I think I have PTSD in the wake of the experience. Two months before he died, a hospice nurse told me that I was going to go through everything that he would go through, and it turned out to be the gospel truth! I used to think that I could empathize with widows, but now I know it is impossible unless you have been through it. Like you, RJS, I have lost a number of loved ones. One time there were five within a one-year time span, which really knocked me off my feet and was the main reason that I moved from a large city to rural Montana, to just get away from it all. The last seven months have been tough, of course, and those people are right who say it just takes time. There's no way to walk around it; you just have to go straight through it. The moments of raging grief can come unexpectedly and be triggered by just about anything mundane, like a sappy commercial on TV or something like that. Anyway, my greatest comfort now is realizing that since my husband is not suffering anymore, he wouldn't want me to suffer either. I try to go forward the way I think he would want me to -- and thank God for God. My faith is what has carried me through. By the way -- {{{{{{{hi, there, Irish Eyes!}}}}}}}

October 24th, 2008, 12:16 PM	#20
rjsfeminist Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: west central Florida Posts: 1,564	Today's the 2nd anniversary of friend-hubby's death...Been moping around the past couple of days, no energy, etc., and then realized what was coming and thought, Well, of course* I'm going to be in a funk for a few days.* Still have a lawsuit pending against the hospital where he died...

October 24th, 2008, 08:51 PM	#22
rjsfeminist Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: west central Florida Posts: 1,564	Thanks, ((PBS)).

October 29th, 2008, 10:55 PM	#25
rjsfeminist Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: west central Florida Posts: 1,564	Thanks, (((everyone))). Yeah, Irish, the lawsuit has seemed to slow the healing a little...I'll have a great (or, at least, good) week, then BAM! another round of stuff from the lawyers. But I have to keep going. Could've settled with the hospital last Feb. for 6-figures. The big thing, though, is that I'd have to be quiet about the hospital and could NOT, under any circumstances, tell anyone what the hospital did. I couldn't warn anyone about the crappy care, nothing. So, while it does slow things down, I know that, in the end, it'll be worth it, especially if it keeps others from going through what hubby went through. Again, thanks.