Celibacy - Page 3

JANE20/20 · March 16th, 2011, 07:39 PM

I would like to add this comment for anyone practicng celibacy.....or is thinking about it....and for those who are like me practicing it and abstaining from sexual activity with men....or for those who are gay....with other people men or women...and wh are still not always finding the emotional support from others....in this sex crazed

JANE20/20 · March 18th, 2011, 01:48 AM

I'm apologize...I lost the rest of my comments....continuing:....this is for all the people who are practicing celibacy....and may not get the emotional support that they need...out in the world....some people often attack what they don't understand out of fear.....thinking about that...I realize that part of that fear maybe them fighting silently with themselves about the decisions that they have made reguarding sex...that they feel guilty about......

Out here in this sex-crazed society of ours....most are on the same page when it comes to this topic of sex...everybody wants to do what feels good.....regardless of the risks...and consequences...I work in the health care field....and HIV...is still being on the rise....people aren't talking about it....and aren't getting tested...and are still having unprotected sex......

I have recently had someone say to me: "you're just judging everyone from your own little corner,...everybody isn't like you!....I' don't believe you!....and you wear it like it is a badge of honor...as if it's something to be proud of...you shouldn't be telling anybody that!....that's personal.....you're pathetic!........

Now this person that said those things considers herself to be religious...and says that she has a understanding of religion and what christ teaches.....this is what she says.....This was a discussion between this person and myself...and I mentioned being celibate because it had everything to do with what we were discussing.....now this is not surprisg but it still saddens me that this person is not more enlightened as that....not because of religion but because of experience as a woman....we should be getting wiser.....

I was told some years ago by someone else... that this person was jealous of me and that's why she was always saying the hurtful things to me that she did....and somehow I didn't want to believe that...because you see this person is the woman that raised me...and the one who should know me........

This woman is my mother.......

So....in my 40's...I can see it so clearly now.....my take on this is.....if my own mother would say those things ...and she has said so much more....that I shouldn't really expect to much from other people out in the world......

I don't consider myself religious....even though I'm celibate...and my decision about celibacy was born out of many things but rooted in religion....simply because there are some pretty good reasons why one shouldn't do this or that in relations to sex.......I'm more spiritual...and my decision works for me at this time.......

JANE20/20 · March 18th, 2011, 02:48 AM

Con't....I still have experiences with other people besides my mother....who are threatened by my personal choice to be celibate....it's as if I became this thing....somewhat of a non-person....either they stare at me as if I'm from somewhere else....or they are so offended....and haul-off and start saying defaming things at me...or about me...I don't know ....but something about this has rattled some people to the very core......

It's amazing to see and at the same time....really sad to witness what comes out of some people......

For something that absolutely should not be a threat to anyone in any shape form or fashion.....
When I start to hear someone say...."she thinks that she's better".....I start thinking to myself.....what have they done?....what are they guilty of?....because that statement says to me that that person doesn't feel good about themselves or about their choices in life.....regarding sex....so they start to project their emotional ills onto me.....and usually more often than not...it's progressive......

So....for those who are practicing celibacy or are thinking about it....just know that you're not alone...we're out here...and other people will try to sometimes make it difficult....born out of their ignorance, guilt and fears....and self loathing about their personal choices in life....not yours........

Stay positive and strong in your decision until you decide differently........

Dhanfel · April 9th, 2011, 06:26 AM

Jane 20/20...Thank you for your response and support...I have since had intercourse. It was with great regret tho. However i have decided that i can no longer have sex with other persons at all for this time...I have also noticed that for some reason the sex does not bring to me the same desire and emotion to which it did before. Now its only a motion. I believe this has occurred because of the desire that i have of being in a fully committed and lasting relationship. Although i have struggled to find the right person and have yet to succeed, I know that my decision to go back to celibacy and to concentrate on my life, school, getting to be the best "me" there is will in some way will prepare me for the future personal relationships.
I have stopped writing and posting publicly. I now only write for myself to give my spirit and my soul its release. It feels so great to be celibate and not worry about sex and its consequences. One of the things that most bother me is STD's and i agree with you completely when you say that our society no longer cares. Sex is Sex and will only be sex to this seemingly developing society. I see teenagers having sex and i wonder whether they understand what it really means. i learnt about sex the hard way when at the age of 14 i was raped. Although my natural psyche was to block it out, all of the memories of the event resurfaced full force about 18 months ago. Since then my life has changed drastically. I am left to deal with the memories of the ordeal along with the pain, shame and other negativities such an act created. All in my 30's. Sometimes i find myself crying for no apparent reason and i Thank God that the vow to be celibate helps me conquer. If i was not celibate i would have chosen to drown my pain in the arms of someone and with that succumb to the temptation of the sin. So for now i am learning to live with my pain and move forward one day at a time...

July 6th, 2011, 04:35 PM

I have attached the following quote because I was watching a HBO Special about sex. It said that people with an active sex life on average make less money than those who don't which is interesting. I know for me personally, sex can be a tension or stress reliever and it can also be an activity I prefer than other dull ones. I believe you can be more focused, you are driving that energy that you are releasing into working, getting a task done and etc. I can see how it would work out where you are more creative, a better balance and etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by huee

ok, i guess i just have to respond to this post. i have practiced varying periods of celibacy in my life (both chosen & enforced). the last time just ended recently. up until this week, i had gone 18 months w/out having sex. this was in correlation w/my desire to gain some sanity in my life. for myself, sexual relationships often seem to be accompanied by a certain degree of craziness that invades the rest of my life. i know that i accomplish more intellectually/creatively when i am celibate. i have also managed to deepen my emotional connections w/everyone in my life lately. part of that is due to my increased focus on ppl's souls & not their bodies. b/c of this, my love life has improved - i'm a firm believer in the idea that true love comes from conversation not sex.

JANE20/20 · March 7th, 2012, 02:04 PM

Hi ....Dhanfel...I'm sorry for not being able to read your comment sooner....this past year has been a real challenge financially...I was out of work for quite a while and I had to give up the luxury of having internet service along with a few other things....I'm working again....and can afford internet....I really missed coming on here.....I read your post....and I'm sorry to hear about your experience at 14....that should have never happened to you.... it sounds like the memories came flooding back to you....for such a horrific event that can be overwhelming to deal with alone....and I really hope that you get some counciling and do not try to work through all of the aftermath of memories by yourself...you need a professional to help you.....you once mentioned about going to school specializing in the health area....in that field...there are so many people around that can help you....or who know someone that can....please seek them out...don't try to do it alone.....drop me a line anytime let me know how your doing......you're right......take it slow.....one day at a time....

March 16th, 2011, 07:39 PM	#31
JANE20/20 Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 67	I would like to add this comment for anyone practicng celibacy.....or is thinking about it....and for those who are like me practicing it and abstaining from sexual activity with men....or for those who are gay....with other people men or women...and wh are still not always finding the emotional support from others....in this sex crazed

March 18th, 2011, 01:48 AM	#32
JANE20/20 Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 67	I'm apologize...I lost the rest of my comments....continuing:....this is for all the people who are practicing celibacy....and may not get the emotional support that they need...out in the world....some people often attack what they don't understand out of fear.....thinking about that...I realize that part of that fear maybe them fighting silently with themselves about the decisions that they have made reguarding sex...that they feel guilty about...... Out here in this sex-crazed society of ours....most are on the same page when it comes to this topic of sex...everybody wants to do what feels good.....regardless of the risks...and consequences...I work in the health care field....and HIV...is still being on the rise....people aren't talking about it....and aren't getting tested...and are still having unprotected sex...... I have recently had someone say to me: "you're just judging everyone from your own little corner,...everybody isn't like you!....I' don't believe you!....and you wear it like it is a badge of honor...as if it's something to be proud of...you shouldn't be telling anybody that!....that's personal.....you're pathetic!........ Now this person that said those things considers herself to be religious...and says that she has a understanding of religion and what christ teaches.....this is what she says.....This was a discussion between this person and myself...and I mentioned being celibate because it had everything to do with what we were discussing.....now this is not surprisg but it still saddens me that this person is not more enlightened as that....not because of religion but because of experience as a woman....we should be getting wiser..... I was told some years ago by someone else... that this person was jealous of me and that's why she was always saying the hurtful things to me that she did....and somehow I didn't want to believe that...because you see this person is the woman that raised me...and the one who should know me........ This woman is my mother....... So....in my 40's...I can see it so clearly now.....my take on this is.....if my own mother would say those things ...and she has said so much more....that I shouldn't really expect to much from other people out in the world...... I don't consider myself religious....even though I'm celibate...and my decision about celibacy was born out of many things but rooted in religion....simply because there are some pretty good reasons why one shouldn't do this or that in relations to sex.......I'm more spiritual...and my decision works for me at this time.......

March 18th, 2011, 02:48 AM	#33
JANE20/20 Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 67	Con't....I still have experiences with other people besides my mother....who are threatened by my personal choice to be celibate....it's as if I became this thing....somewhat of a non-person....either they stare at me as if I'm from somewhere else....or they are so offended....and haul-off and start saying defaming things at me...or about me...I don't know ....but something about this has rattled some people to the very core...... It's amazing to see and at the same time....really sad to witness what comes out of some people...... For something that absolutely should not be a threat to anyone in any shape form or fashion..... When I start to hear someone say...."she thinks that she's better".....I start thinking to myself.....what have they done?....what are they guilty of?....because that statement says to me that that person doesn't feel good about themselves or about their choices in life.....regarding sex....so they start to project their emotional ills onto me.....and usually more often than not...it's progressive...... So....for those who are practicing celibacy or are thinking about it....just know that you're not alone...we're out here...and other people will try to sometimes make it difficult....born out of their ignorance, guilt and fears....and self loathing about their personal choices in life....not yours........ Stay positive and strong in your decision until you decide differently........

April 9th, 2011, 06:26 AM	#34
Dhanfel Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 2	Jane 20/20...Thank you for your response and support...I have since had intercourse. It was with great regret tho. However i have decided that i can no longer have sex with other persons at all for this time...I have also noticed that for some reason the sex does not bring to me the same desire and emotion to which it did before. Now its only a motion. I believe this has occurred because of the desire that i have of being in a fully committed and lasting relationship. Although i have struggled to find the right person and have yet to succeed, I know that my decision to go back to celibacy and to concentrate on my life, school, getting to be the best "me" there is will in some way will prepare me for the future personal relationships. I have stopped writing and posting publicly. I now only write for myself to give my spirit and my soul its release. It feels so great to be celibate and not worry about sex and its consequences. One of the things that most bother me is STD's and i agree with you completely when you say that our society no longer cares. Sex is Sex and will only be sex to this seemingly developing society. I see teenagers having sex and i wonder whether they understand what it really means. i learnt about sex the hard way when at the age of 14 i was raped. Although my natural psyche was to block it out, all of the memories of the event resurfaced full force about 18 months ago. Since then my life has changed drastically. I am left to deal with the memories of the ordeal along with the pain, shame and other negativities such an act created. All in my 30's. Sometimes i find myself crying for no apparent reason and i Thank God that the vow to be celibate helps me conquer. If i was not celibate i would have chosen to drown my pain in the arms of someone and with that succumb to the temptation of the sin. So for now i am learning to live with my pain and move forward one day at a time...

March 7th, 2012, 02:04 PM	#36
JANE20/20 Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 67	Hi ....Dhanfel...I'm sorry for not being able to read your comment sooner....this past year has been a real challenge financially...I was out of work for quite a while and I had to give up the luxury of having internet service along with a few other things....I'm working again....and can afford internet....I really missed coming on here.....I read your post....and I'm sorry to hear about your experience at 14....that should have never happened to you.... it sounds like the memories came flooding back to you....for such a horrific event that can be overwhelming to deal with alone....and I really hope that you get some counciling and do not try to work through all of the aftermath of memories by yourself...you need a professional to help you.....you once mentioned about going to school specializing in the health area....in that field...there are so many people around that can help you....or who know someone that can....please seek them out...don't try to do it alone.....drop me a line anytime let me know how your doing......you're right......take it slow.....one day at a time....