WomensSpace

[WA114]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger...!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Donut
Donut who?
Donut open till Christmas!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithfull...!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avery
Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rudolph
Rudolph who?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Igloo
Igloo who?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie...!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

[WA114]

What did the guest sing at the Eskimo's Christmas party?
Freeze a jolly fellow!

Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball?
It was a moth ball!

How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
Chick to chick!

Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas party?
It was a scream!

Did you hear about the Christmas party with lots of fireworks, balloons & crackers?
It went with a bang!

What did Dracula say at the Christmas party?
Fancy a bite?

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
He had no body to go with!

[WA114]

18 Ways to Confuse Santa Claus

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
9. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. " Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa."
10. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
11. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
12. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
13. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
14. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
15. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
    
16. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
17. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
18. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."
    

Bah, humbug, y'all!

[WA114]

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer.

Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa's flying skills to the test.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for!?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

[WA114]

Ever wonder how people in other countries celebrate the holiday season? Here is something interesting you can share with your kids:

http://www.theholidayspot.com/christ...xmas/index.htm

[Wolfie0ne]

Hehe (((((((WA)))))))))....you tryin to outdo Dac when it comes to da jokes?

[PeepingElf]

HAHAHAHAHAHA I like those! Just Peeping in.

[ChallengeWOW]

SPACE SPACE SPACE SPACE
That was cool WA!!

Here's a tree for all to enjoy. You can trim it, just stare at it, decorate it, or even cut it up and burn it to keep ya warm. Whatever you desire!! Happy Holidays all!!

[susieBsnowflake]

Friday morning.....9:20 am ET, I am in both rooms if anyone wants to chat....

[susieBsnowflake]

5:22pm ET, I am in both room, come on in and chat!

[WA114]

[Wolfie0ne]

Oops, Wa...lol.

[WA114]

Gingerbread Cake
¼ cup	butter	60 mL
¼ cup	sugar	60 mL
1 teaspoon	cinnamon	5 mL
1 teaspoon	ginger	5 mL
1 teaspoon	cloves	5 mL
1 teaspoon	salt	5 mL
1 teaspoon	baking powder	5 mL
1 ¼ cups	flour	300 mL
½ teaspoon	baking soda	2 mL
½ cup	molasses	125 mL
¼ teaspoon	baking soda	1 mL
¾ cup	boiling water	175 mL
1	egg, beaten	1
Cream together butter and sugar. In a separate bowl, mix cinnamon, ginger, cloves, salt, baking powder and flour. Beat baking soda into molasses until foamy. Add to butter mixture. Add the ¼ teaspoon (1 mL) of baking soda to the boiling water. Add this alternatively with the dry ingerdients to the butter-molasses mixture. Fold in beaten egg. (The batter will be thin.) Pour into greased loaf pan and bake 30 minutes at 400°F (200°C).

[PeepingElf]

Just Peeping in and singing a song.. la alalalalalalalalalalalalalala

[susieBsnowflake]

5:45pm ET, anyone around to chat?