i'm married and love someone else - Page 8

LOVELIFE · February 26th, 2012, 03:54 AM

i can not end my marriage . sometimes i take the decision to stop loving him i want to die i am not a good wife i hate my self a lot please God forgive me for everything i did i am sorry i love him so much

Restless · February 27th, 2012, 07:01 PM

I'm married for 4yrs n dated my husband for 9 . We have 2 lovely girls under ages 3. Recently, I had a new boss. He's tall, good looking, very smart n down to earth. 1st meeting him I had a crush. Now it has grown worse after a few 1to1 meals together on de business trip. I enjoy his company very much n afterwards I began thinking so much abt being with him alone more often. Mayb he sense my crush which is pretty embarrassing. Came weekend, I tot I was better.. Not in sight less in mind but came today the feelings sort of came back, de yearnings n memories of our time together. I'm assigned to work w him for 2 yrs not sure if my emotions can endure de roller coaster ride for that long. Good thing I believe it's only one sided bad thing I consciously n unconsciously seek him out n if he ask me out, I doubt, it will b very very hard to say no. Worst if I manipulate de situation so tat I'm alone with him. Sigh. I'm struggling n it's taking me away from enjoying my family.
I know logically n rasionally wst's need to b done but I'm so driven by emotions it overrides everything. How do u handle this?

Snow · February 27th, 2012, 07:10 PM

I feel better knowing other women feel this way. I struggle too
You may be fortunate that it is one sided. When that person is giving love back it's harder. You think your life could be so great. God bless you beautiful ladies. Somehow we all have this mess. Hurts!!

Restless · February 28th, 2012, 02:36 AM

Why can't I control my emotions better? This is not de first time it has happened. I wish my feelings were more professional. I hate to think that he has control over me. Unless a miracle happens, I really do not know wat to do.
I really am thankful for tis forum. Didn't know so many out there in similar situations.

Wolf_angel · February 28th, 2012, 09:07 AM

You make a choice and stick by it. Dont take things for granted. The love of a good man or the relationship you have plus the years. For when you do or act upon your feelings, it will be the ending of that time. You cant erase or change what has happened you can only do so if it hasnt happened at all. You are yearning to have that special connection we all get when we first meet someone new and fall in love or lust with. There is a need to redefine what you do have. Make some date nights with the one you are with not the one you feel close or emotionally connected too. For that is fleeting and wont last the good dance of life. We evolve as well as our relationships but that will dramatically end if you act upon "your feelings" towards another. It unfortunately takes away that uniqueness of the one you are with now. Stand firm for your emotions will make you crave what you dont have now but did at one time. You just need to take and make the new memories solid and help you redefine what you have with the one you are with. Simple and yet to the point. Trust me on this a moments chance of acting on your emotions changes things even if you dont see it at first, it will happen. Hope this helps as it was meant too.

LOVELIFE · February 28th, 2012, 09:38 AM

Dear Wolf Angel
i want to end this now what shall i do i can not leave my work bec i need this mony for my family also i can not tell him that i want to end that he will treat me very bad in work and i can not progress in my work any more i regret now for this love pls help me with your sdvice

Angus Brown · February 28th, 2012, 06:51 PM

What can i say only im getting worse over this guy and its gone too far i love him so much its breaking my heart that i cant be with him and he feels the same. I really dont know what to do we dont have anywhere to go at the minute otherwise we wud be together. I have cried for 3 days solid without being able to stop even cried myself to sleep. I have considered goin to a counceller but i am afraid of her/him telling me to cop on and stay with my husband i dont want that i dont love him anymore.

Its only my kids that are keeping me with my husband.

Sweetie0307 · March 6th, 2012, 11:16 PM

Wow!! I've been waiting so long to tell someone how I feel and what I'm going through. It's sad that it has to be to complete strangers too lol. Anyway, I seriously thought no one could understand, but I guess I was wrong. My story goes way back to my sophomore year in high school, when I met this guy

he had a girlfriend at the time, so I never thought anything until one day he asked for a kiss. Never forget that day. I still remember what he was wearing. Anyway 11th grade passes, then 12 grade we started to mess around, talk hang out but we never talked about being together. I wanted to but I was too shy to ask what he wanted so I just went with it. I had boyfriends between that time not sure if he had girlfriends. Anyway, I lost in touch with him for about 5 months. His best friend passed away and we all met up for his rosary and he saw and said I will call you. I knew he was hurt, so I didn't push anything. I cared more about him getting better. They were alwAys together. Well his friend had a girlfriend and they leaned on each other for support b/c they both lost someone they loved. I waited....no call. Months months later I find out they hooked up. I was so crushed and yeah I thought it was weird. Anyway, I got with someone had a baby and got married. I was never in love with my husband but was with him for the sake of our child. Well 3 years later the guy from high school contacted me through myspace. I never thought I would be the one to cheat on my husband, but at the time we had so many problems that I felt like I needed something to make me feel better and get my mind off of what was going on at home. Well yeah we started talking again. His kisses are amazing, unforgettable. Well that was in 2006 it is now 2012 and we have been talking on and off ever since. I try to stay away, but it is so hard. I stopped talking to him for about a year to see how I would feel, but not a day went by that I haven't thought about him. During those 6 years they have had two kids and I had my second. He tells me he really likes me and cares about me and that I'm a weakness to him, as he is to me. He told me one time if he could go back and change the past we would be together. I'm confused, b/c if he would tell me he wanted to be with me I would get my kids and go. I don't know if he feels that he has to be with this girl b/c everyone is counting on him to be there and take care of her b/c of what happened, idk. He loves her of course, it's been 8 yrs now that they have been together. I love my husband but I know im not madly in love and never have been. Now I feel I have fallen in love with this guy and every time we tagetty feels stronger. I don't know if I should let him know or just let it go. It's so hard. Every time I tell myself just don't talk to him let it go...I can't. I need advice please!!!!

Tedette · March 22nd, 2012, 04:32 AM

I know how you feel. I too love someone else and want to be with him but he is also with someone else. I don't think he is happy with her and I feel we are missing out and time is slipping away when we could be together. One of us needs to make a move though and I keep chickening out in coming out with my true feelings. Always think I could be reading the signals wrong, or will he really leave her or will I just end up embarrassed and sad if it ruins our friendship.

angelroxy · March 26th, 2012, 06:26 PM

Just to let u know, i understand and its damn hard at times...
Life shows its colder side.

loveusomuch · April 19th, 2012, 02:15 PM

Im 29 years and married for 8 years and have a daughter who is 5 and half years old. Im in exactly the same situation.Mine was a typical arranged marriage done by our parents(which is very normal in India).I was married to my husband and things were just going fine and were together as a family, though i never had any special love for my husband. He is a person who is very workaholic and reserved kind of.I was working in a company for 7 years and before one year a guy joined my company and we were really good friends. we both had some feeling for each other which we never revealed. But 6 months back i had left the job and joined a new company, that is when we started talking and we came to know that we loved each other.though at home, i was with my family, i was always thinking of him. our relationship grew to such a level that we had sex with each other and whenever possible we used to meet, though we both knew that it is not possible to have a life together. Last month he had to go back to his home town for vacation and when we met last before vacation, he had mentioned that his parents are looking forward to get him married. Though it was so much painful, we both decided that we will end our relation there and will never bother each other. he went on vacation and each day was so painful for me that i was not able to concentrate on anything, everyday would start thinking of him and end counting the number of days till he will be back. As expected his parents had found a girl for him and they had his engagement done. Now he is back to town but engaged to that girl. Im not able to control my feelings towards him. i feel like i have lost everything in life. We both spoke to each other and is in such a bad condition that we donot know what to do.He said that if he will be talking and meeting me again, he will never ever be able to be loyal to that girl or keep her happy.finally we decided that we will never call,speak or see each other, which may give a good life for both of us. Its now few days that im trying to get away from his thoughts, but it is just getting impossible for me to survive.every moment im thinking of him, i donno what is his condition now. Maybe he is happy with his fiancee and is speaking to her and maybe he must have forgotten about me. but i feel so much shattered and depressed in my life. I cannot share my feelings with anyone and getting wierd things in mind. Im even praying to god now to kill me somehow or else take my husband away from me so that i can get him back. Im not able to think or bear the truth that he is going to be someone else's life.
please help me and let me know what i can do to get him back. Maybe he is also having the same feeling, but he is trying to adjust to the new life as per his parents wish. why is life like this?

loveusomuch · April 20th, 2012, 03:41 AM

i know this is the worst thing anyone can even think..but i dont want to live with my husband, i want him back. i want to have a life with him. i dont know what will happen to me or my husband or my child.but i cannot bear it anymore. i wish life was like 2 months back.. though i was living with my husband, all i could think and do was about him. his company gave me so much happiness. i cant allow him to be someone else's. i want him back.god please do something to get him back for me..i cant live without him..............

dwarkish · April 20th, 2012, 09:16 AM

I am married but want / interested in one more connection

suhashini · April 24th, 2012, 11:17 AM

hi all,
how do i say?
i am married and i am in d same situation too..
i was 20 when i got married(a kind of forced arranged marriage). now i am 21.
just one year of marriage, but i feel badly hurt cos of my husband.
he is good but over possessive n controlling me on almost everything.
but then i met this guy, he is from syria.
even after knowing about me, he accepted me.
he is a single (n virgin). i am not happy in this marriage n always face troubles in dis.
but wen i b with him i forget everything.
i have never felt like this before, but i couldn help it.
i love him badly.
this hurts me a lot, cos i really wanna marry him,but without hurting anyone..
can anyone help me??
pls i am in need of help...

Angus Brown · April 24th, 2012, 07:06 PM

What can i say only........ my heart has just been broken ;( People found out about us (how we dont know

) but we've had to finish it (for awhile) it caused soooooo much trouble (for him more so than me) we denied everything. I cant handle it im crying everyday all day and night over it we cant even speak to each other now but it causes trouble. I love him so much it hurts really really bad and he says he still loves me. I'm hurting so bad over it i want him really bad and its worse when i cant even talk to me.

< < broken hearted girl !!!

February 27th, 2012, 07:01 PM	#107
Restless Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 4	Attracted to boss I'm married for 4yrs n dated my husband for 9 . We have 2 lovely girls under ages 3. Recently, I had a new boss. He's tall, good looking, very smart n down to earth. 1st meeting him I had a crush. Now it has grown worse after a few 1to1 meals together on de business trip. I enjoy his company very much n afterwards I began thinking so much abt being with him alone more often. Mayb he sense my crush which is pretty embarrassing. Came weekend, I tot I was better.. Not in sight less in mind but came today the feelings sort of came back, de yearnings n memories of our time together. I'm assigned to work w him for 2 yrs not sure if my emotions can endure de roller coaster ride for that long. Good thing I believe it's only one sided bad thing I consciously n unconsciously seek him out n if he ask me out, I doubt, it will b very very hard to say no. Worst if I manipulate de situation so tat I'm alone with him. Sigh. I'm struggling n it's taking me away from enjoying my family. I know logically n rasionally wst's need to b done but I'm so driven by emotions it overrides everything. How do u handle this?

February 28th, 2012, 09:07 AM	#110
Wolf_angel A survivor of chaos Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Where my heart is Posts: 3,147	You make a choice and stick by it. Dont take things for granted. The love of a good man or the relationship you have plus the years. For when you do or act upon your feelings, it will be the ending of that time. You cant erase or change what has happened you can only do so if it hasnt happened at all. You are yearning to have that special connection we all get when we first meet someone new and fall in love or lust with. There is a need to redefine what you do have. Make some date nights with the one you are with not the one you feel close or emotionally connected too. For that is fleeting and wont last the good dance of life. We evolve as well as our relationships but that will dramatically end if you act upon "your feelings" towards another. It unfortunately takes away that uniqueness of the one you are with now. Stand firm for your emotions will make you crave what you dont have now but did at one time. You just need to take and make the new memories solid and help you redefine what you have with the one you are with. Simple and yet to the point. Trust me on this a moments chance of acting on your emotions changes things even if you dont see it at first, it will happen. Hope this helps as it was meant too. __________________ May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~

February 26th, 2012, 03:54 AM	#106
LOVELIFE Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 3	i can not end my marriage . sometimes i take the decision to stop loving him i want to die i am not a good wife i hate my self a lot please God forgive me for everything i did i am sorry i love him so much

February 27th, 2012, 07:10 PM	#108
Snow Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 7	I feel better knowing other women feel this way. I struggle too You may be fortunate that it is one sided. When that person is giving love back it's harder. You think your life could be so great. God bless you beautiful ladies. Somehow we all have this mess. Hurts!!

February 28th, 2012, 02:36 AM	#109
Restless Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 4	Why can't I control my emotions better? This is not de first time it has happened. I wish my feelings were more professional. I hate to think that he has control over me. Unless a miracle happens, I really do not know wat to do. I really am thankful for tis forum. Didn't know so many out there in similar situations.

February 28th, 2012, 09:38 AM	#111
LOVELIFE Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 3	Dear Wolf Angel i want to end this now what shall i do i can not leave my work bec i need this mony for my family also i can not tell him that i want to end that he will treat me very bad in work and i can not progress in my work any more i regret now for this love pls help me with your sdvice

February 28th, 2012, 06:51 PM	#112
Angus Brown Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 6	What can i say only im getting worse over this guy and its gone too far i love him so much its breaking my heart that i cant be with him and he feels the same. I really dont know what to do we dont have anywhere to go at the minute otherwise we wud be together. I have cried for 3 days solid without being able to stop even cried myself to sleep. I have considered goin to a counceller but i am afraid of her/him telling me to cop on and stay with my husband i dont want that i dont love him anymore. Its only my kids that are keeping me with my husband.

March 6th, 2012, 11:16 PM	#113
Sweetie0307 Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 1	Wow!! I've been waiting so long to tell someone how I feel and what I'm going through. It's sad that it has to be to complete strangers too lol. Anyway, I seriously thought no one could understand, but I guess I was wrong. My story goes way back to my sophomore year in high school, when I met this guy he had a girlfriend at the time, so I never thought anything until one day he asked for a kiss. Never forget that day. I still remember what he was wearing. Anyway 11th grade passes, then 12 grade we started to mess around, talk hang out but we never talked about being together. I wanted to but I was too shy to ask what he wanted so I just went with it. I had boyfriends between that time not sure if he had girlfriends. Anyway, I lost in touch with him for about 5 months. His best friend passed away and we all met up for his rosary and he saw and said I will call you. I knew he was hurt, so I didn't push anything. I cared more about him getting better. They were alwAys together. Well his friend had a girlfriend and they leaned on each other for support b/c they both lost someone they loved. I waited....no call. Months months later I find out they hooked up. I was so crushed and yeah I thought it was weird. Anyway, I got with someone had a baby and got married. I was never in love with my husband but was with him for the sake of our child. Well 3 years later the guy from high school contacted me through myspace. I never thought I would be the one to cheat on my husband, but at the time we had so many problems that I felt like I needed something to make me feel better and get my mind off of what was going on at home. Well yeah we started talking again. His kisses are amazing, unforgettable. Well that was in 2006 it is now 2012 and we have been talking on and off ever since. I try to stay away, but it is so hard. I stopped talking to him for about a year to see how I would feel, but not a day went by that I haven't thought about him. During those 6 years they have had two kids and I had my second. He tells me he really likes me and cares about me and that I'm a weakness to him, as he is to me. He told me one time if he could go back and change the past we would be together. I'm confused, b/c if he would tell me he wanted to be with me I would get my kids and go. I don't know if he feels that he has to be with this girl b/c everyone is counting on him to be there and take care of her b/c of what happened, idk. He loves her of course, it's been 8 yrs now that they have been together. I love my husband but I know im not madly in love and never have been. Now I feel I have fallen in love with this guy and every time we tagetty feels stronger. I don't know if I should let him know or just let it go. It's so hard. Every time I tell myself just don't talk to him let it go...I can't. I need advice please!!!!

March 22nd, 2012, 04:32 AM	#114
Tedette Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 4	I know how you feel. I too love someone else and want to be with him but he is also with someone else. I don't think he is happy with her and I feel we are missing out and time is slipping away when we could be together. One of us needs to make a move though and I keep chickening out in coming out with my true feelings. Always think I could be reading the signals wrong, or will he really leave her or will I just end up embarrassed and sad if it ruins our friendship.

March 26th, 2012, 06:26 PM	#115
angelroxy angelroxy Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 8	Just to let u know, i understand and its damn hard at times... Life shows its colder side.

April 19th, 2012, 02:15 PM	#116
loveusomuch Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 2	Im 29 years and married for 8 years and have a daughter who is 5 and half years old. Im in exactly the same situation.Mine was a typical arranged marriage done by our parents(which is very normal in India).I was married to my husband and things were just going fine and were together as a family, though i never had any special love for my husband. He is a person who is very workaholic and reserved kind of.I was working in a company for 7 years and before one year a guy joined my company and we were really good friends. we both had some feeling for each other which we never revealed. But 6 months back i had left the job and joined a new company, that is when we started talking and we came to know that we loved each other.though at home, i was with my family, i was always thinking of him. our relationship grew to such a level that we had sex with each other and whenever possible we used to meet, though we both knew that it is not possible to have a life together. Last month he had to go back to his home town for vacation and when we met last before vacation, he had mentioned that his parents are looking forward to get him married. Though it was so much painful, we both decided that we will end our relation there and will never bother each other. he went on vacation and each day was so painful for me that i was not able to concentrate on anything, everyday would start thinking of him and end counting the number of days till he will be back. As expected his parents had found a girl for him and they had his engagement done. Now he is back to town but engaged to that girl. Im not able to control my feelings towards him. i feel like i have lost everything in life. We both spoke to each other and is in such a bad condition that we donot know what to do.He said that if he will be talking and meeting me again, he will never ever be able to be loyal to that girl or keep her happy.finally we decided that we will never call,speak or see each other, which may give a good life for both of us. Its now few days that im trying to get away from his thoughts, but it is just getting impossible for me to survive.every moment im thinking of him, i donno what is his condition now. Maybe he is happy with his fiancee and is speaking to her and maybe he must have forgotten about me. but i feel so much shattered and depressed in my life. I cannot share my feelings with anyone and getting wierd things in mind. Im even praying to god now to kill me somehow or else take my husband away from me so that i can get him back. Im not able to think or bear the truth that he is going to be someone else's life. please help me and let me know what i can do to get him back. Maybe he is also having the same feeling, but he is trying to adjust to the new life as per his parents wish. why is life like this?

April 20th, 2012, 03:41 AM	#117
loveusomuch Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 2	i know this is the worst thing anyone can even think..but i dont want to live with my husband, i want him back. i want to have a life with him. i dont know what will happen to me or my husband or my child.but i cannot bear it anymore. i wish life was like 2 months back.. though i was living with my husband, all i could think and do was about him. his company gave me so much happiness. i cant allow him to be someone else's. i want him back.god please do something to get him back for me..i cant live without him..............

April 20th, 2012, 09:16 AM	#118
dwarkish Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 5	I am married but want / interested in one more connection

April 24th, 2012, 11:17 AM	#119
suhashini Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 1	hi all, how do i say? i am married and i am in d same situation too.. i was 20 when i got married(a kind of forced arranged marriage). now i am 21. just one year of marriage, but i feel badly hurt cos of my husband. he is good but over possessive n controlling me on almost everything. but then i met this guy, he is from syria. even after knowing about me, he accepted me. he is a single (n virgin). i am not happy in this marriage n always face troubles in dis. but wen i b with him i forget everything. i have never felt like this before, but i couldn help it. i love him badly. this hurts me a lot, cos i really wanna marry him,but without hurting anyone.. can anyone help me?? pls i am in need of help...

April 24th, 2012, 07:06 PM	#120
Angus Brown Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 6	What can i say only........ my heart has just been broken ;( People found out about us (how we dont know ) but we've had to finish it (for awhile) it caused soooooo much trouble (for him more so than me) we denied everything. I cant handle it im crying everyday all day and night over it we cant even speak to each other now but it causes trouble. I love him so much it hurts really really bad and he says he still loves me. I'm hurting so bad over it i want him really bad and its worse when i cant even talk to me. < < broken hearted girl !!!