How do I introduce the idea of me being a lesbian to my children?

[Blue16]

I have been in a relationship for over a year with my gf. I am separated for over a year and have three children. I haven't told anyone about my gf really and I can feel the quiet stress of this in our relationship. She does not pressure me but I know it wears on her. I am afraid to tell my children because they have had so many changes in their lives in just a year. But the longer I wait, the more I feel that I am betraying them and fear they will not understand and resent me. And I feel that I am betraying my girlfriend by not having the strength to share our love with the people in my life. The pressure screams even though it is never spoken. Any one have any hopeful suggestions that will prove less painful for all? Btw, my children adore her and think she is my best friend. So she feels the fear of betrayal as well. My ex also doesn't know for sure and I am afraid he will try to take my kids from me if I admit it.

[Synful_Poet]

Hi, Blue16.

First, I'd like to thank you, your post compelled me to join this site. Which I've been thinking about doing for the last week. From what I've seen all the ladies here seem very nice and try to give insight where they can.

Now, as for your problem... I find myself in a simular situation. I say simular because I am still with my husband and have recently come out to him ( which he says he is okay with, thank goodness ). I would, like you, like to be able to be open with my children ( I have three, between the ages of 8 & 13 ) about this side of myself. So, what I've begun to do is just start talking about sexuality ( and the different types ) in general. I actually started these conversations with the unfortunate events that have happened in the last few weeks and how we, as an individuals need to accept everyone no matter how different they are.

Hope this helps.

[Blue16]

Originally Posted by Synful_Poet

Hi, Blue16.

First, I'd like to thank you, your post compelled me to join this site. Which I've been thinking about doing for the last week. From what I've seen all the ladies here seem very nice and try to give insight where they can.

Now, as for your problem... I find myself in a simular situation. I say simular because I am still with my husband and have recently come out to him ( which he says he is okay with, thank goodness ). I would, like you, like to be able to be open with my children ( I have three, between the ages of 8 & 13 ) about this side of myself. So, what I've begun to do is just start talking about sexuality ( and the different types ) in general. I actually started these conversations with the unfortunate events that have happened in the last few weeks and how we, as an individuals need to accept everyone no matter how different they are.

Hope this helps.

Hi synfuel poet,
Welcome to this site. I am new also. I am glad you have the support of your husband. I would imagine it will make a world of difference in everything. For now I will I feel keep going the way I am. It is not right for me to bring more change to my kids when Their life is in such dissaray now. I am hoping that in time the realization might come to them on their own and I can deal wih each challenge as it comes. Like you we have open discussions about sexuality and differences among them. I wish you luck and strength in your endeavors. I hope to hear positive feedback about how your situation goes. But if not positive then I'm sure we will all be here to help you through it. Best wishes.

[Synful_Poet]

Hey,Blue. Well, mom knows best, right.(or at least that what I keep telling my kids lol) But anyway, it sounds like you have a plan, that's great! And really sometimes when kids have time to figure things out on their own they accept it better. Good luck with everything.

[Deepthi]

To both of you...

Wish you good luck...... and happy days a head...