When you witness an accident...

PoohsBigSister · September 16th, 2009, 03:03 PM

Saturday night, i watched a woman flip her motorcycle and it went one way and she went the opposite. They called a helicopter for her, but sent me home from the scene without telling me if she was alive or dead.

Now... i can't keep the images of the bike flipping, of her gasping for air and then not breathing, of her long blond hair that looked like dolls hair splayed out over her face, of the images of her body laying, not moving...

I called a counselor who told me it was normal, that I should "just take care of myself" and it would pass...

ummm... i feel worse today than I did on Sunday.... I keep thinking, what if I would have done something differently, touched her, let her know she wasn't alone, something.... and I didn't.

i feel like such a horrible person for not comforting her when she was alone.... and... i don't know if she died.

the cop told me he coudln't tell me that.... the cop didn't give me his card...so I can't call him directly anyway..

I'm at a loss here my friends...and i'm hurting...

Wolf_angel · September 16th, 2009, 07:07 PM

(((((((((PBS))))))))))) I know a real one would be better. I would suggest going to counseling to help you with this. For things like this that is traumatic to experience let alone watch and not know, well I believe it would help. Unless you can see what you can find out in the newspapers. I wish you the best in this!

Prayers for you during this time.

PoohsBigSister · September 17th, 2009, 11:10 AM

Thanks wolfie. I did call and schedule a session with the "critical incident debriefing" specialist with the police department... they are supposed to help you work through the feelings of witnessing something traumatic?!?! sigh.

I did sleep last night for the first time since the accident.... and that felt good I gotta tell ya. But i keep seeing her laying there, that image just keeps coming back over and over and that's the part i need help getting through and over..ya know?

(((((((((((((((WOLFIE)))))))))))))))))))))

crazymomma · September 18th, 2009, 08:46 AM

(((((((((PBS))))))))) I hope the counseling helps you. Big hugs thoughts and prayers to you.

IRISH_EYES_99 · September 18th, 2009, 07:42 PM

Awww (((((((((((((((( PBS))))))))))))))))))))))), So very sorry you witnessed that horrific accident. That you don't have answers to your questions. Don't feel guilty over it. Sometimes when we witness something terrible our brain shuts down for a bit. Like going into shock. There was nothing wrong with the way you responded.
Extra hugs ((((((((((((( PBS ))))))))))))))))))))).
Glad you are going for counseling, glad that the police have that set up. Thinking of you.

PoohsBigSister · September 21st, 2009, 02:35 PM

(((((((((((((( TO ALL )))))))))))))))))

today is my second counseling session (out of three)... and today for the first time, I drove by the accident spot and didn't LOOK at it... I don't know what I expect to find there, but I look each time I drive by...I realized when I got to work that today..I didn't LOOK!!!!!

I slept last night for the first time without medicine, and I didn't have any nightmares, or dreams that related to the accident... and... while my mood today isn't any brighter, I don't feel weighted down like I have been the past week....

Love you all!!!
HUGS!
PBS

WillowWOW · September 22nd, 2009, 08:14 AM

((((((((PBS)))))))))) Aw sweetie I know its been hard, yet you keep on with the counseling and doing some prayers might help as well.

Have a great day!

Wolf_angel · September 22nd, 2009, 08:27 AM

(((((((PBS)))) Good to hear of your progress. Steady and slow will help overall. Just know we are here for you.
Hugs
Have a great day!

crazymomma · September 22nd, 2009, 10:48 AM

kudoes PBS you've started to heal. hugs and good wishes.

PoohsBigSister · September 23rd, 2009, 04:53 PM

ladies...just knowing that I can come here and talk helps so much... and..I know ya'll know EXACTLY what I mean!! I told my counselor on Monday about WOW and how it's kept me going in some darker times in my life.

I would be lost without you all!!

((((((((((((((((( MY FRIENDS )))))))))))))))))))))))))

Wolf_angel · September 23rd, 2009, 06:27 PM

((((((PBS))))) As always we know who our "real family" is LOL That is why we all have so much fun as well as know where to get help in our darker times.
Have a great day!

crazymomma · September 25th, 2009, 08:29 AM

((((((PBS))))) you, Love are welcome. You are there for use too. That's why I think this is here. We've all had stuff we can't handle and I am reading a book right now called "Don't Take My Grief From Me" It says that at times what you need most from your friends is an ear. Not an answer. Sometime there are no answers to life questions. Sometimes you just need someone to listen. Isn't it wonderful that we have each other here to do just that?

rjsfeminist · September 26th, 2009, 02:29 PM

(((PBS))) I know that had to have been rough. How are you doing?

PoohsBigSister · September 28th, 2009, 12:34 PM

Actually RJ, I'm feeling better. The few counseling session I've had have been helpful, and I have quit looking for the site of the accident when I drive by..and I have a new mantra when thoughts surface about what I coulda/shoulda done... You stopped, you called, and you gave her a chance....

so far it's working!

September 16th, 2009, 03:03 PM	#1
PoohsBigSister Long Live WOW!! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: CO Posts: 1,791	When you witness an accident... Saturday night, i watched a woman flip her motorcycle and it went one way and she went the opposite. They called a helicopter for her, but sent me home from the scene without telling me if she was alive or dead. Now... i can't keep the images of the bike flipping, of her gasping for air and then not breathing, of her long blond hair that looked like dolls hair splayed out over her face, of the images of her body laying, not moving... I called a counselor who told me it was normal, that I should "just take care of myself" and it would pass... ummm... i feel worse today than I did on Sunday.... I keep thinking, what if I would have done something differently, touched her, let her know she wasn't alone, something.... and I didn't. i feel like such a horrible person for not comforting her when she was alone.... and... i don't know if she died. the cop told me he coudln't tell me that.... the cop didn't give me his card...so I can't call him directly anyway.. I'm at a loss here my friends...and i'm hurting... __________________ "Life is a flower of which love is the honey." Victor Hugo

September 16th, 2009, 07:07 PM	#2
Wolf_angel A survivor of chaos Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Where my heart is Posts: 3,147	(((((((((PBS))))))))))) I know a real one would be better. I would suggest going to counseling to help you with this. For things like this that is traumatic to experience let alone watch and not know, well I believe it would help. Unless you can see what you can find out in the newspapers. I wish you the best in this! Prayers for you during this time. __________________ May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~

September 17th, 2009, 11:10 AM	#3
PoohsBigSister Long Live WOW!! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: CO Posts: 1,791	Thanks wolfie. I did call and schedule a session with the "critical incident debriefing" specialist with the police department... they are supposed to help you work through the feelings of witnessing something traumatic?!?! sigh. I did sleep last night for the first time since the accident.... and that felt good I gotta tell ya. But i keep seeing her laying there, that image just keeps coming back over and over and that's the part i need help getting through and over..ya know? (((((((((((((((WOLFIE))))))))))))))))))))) __________________ "Life is a flower of which love is the honey." Victor Hugo

September 18th, 2009, 08:46 AM	#4
crazymomma awesome cookie lady Join Date: May 2003 Location: Leechburgh, PA Posts: 1,993	(((((((((PBS))))))))) I hope the counseling helps you. Big hugs thoughts and prayers to you. __________________ It feels like home to me. Bonnie Rhatt

September 18th, 2009, 07:42 PM	#5
IRISH_EYES_99 Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: in the state of confusion :) Posts: 3,524	Awww (((((((((((((((( PBS))))))))))))))))))))))), So very sorry you witnessed that horrific accident. That you don't have answers to your questions. Don't feel guilty over it. Sometimes when we witness something terrible our brain shuts down for a bit. Like going into shock. There was nothing wrong with the way you responded. Extra hugs ((((((((((((( PBS ))))))))))))))))))))). Glad you are going for counseling, glad that the police have that set up. Thinking of you. __________________ Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *

September 21st, 2009, 02:35 PM	#6
PoohsBigSister Long Live WOW!! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: CO Posts: 1,791	(((((((((((((( TO ALL ))))))))))))))))) today is my second counseling session (out of three)... and today for the first time, I drove by the accident spot and didn't LOOK at it... I don't know what I expect to find there, but I look each time I drive by...I realized when I got to work that today..I didn't LOOK!!!!! I slept last night for the first time without medicine, and I didn't have any nightmares, or dreams that related to the accident... and... while my mood today isn't any brighter, I don't feel weighted down like I have been the past week.... Love you all!!! HUGS! PBS __________________ "Life is a flower of which love is the honey." Victor Hugo

September 22nd, 2009, 08:14 AM	#7
WillowWOW Whimisical WOW Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: PA Posts: 558	((((((((PBS)))))))))) Aw sweetie I know its been hard, yet you keep on with the counseling and doing some prayers might help as well. Have a great day! __________________ May your path follow the Medicine Wheel Last edited by WillowWOW; September 22nd, 2009 at 08:18 AM. Reason: Less is best

September 22nd, 2009, 08:27 AM	#8
Wolf_angel A survivor of chaos Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Where my heart is Posts: 3,147	(((((((PBS)))) Good to hear of your progress. Steady and slow will help overall. Just know we are here for you. Hugs Have a great day! __________________ May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~

September 22nd, 2009, 10:48 AM	#9
crazymomma awesome cookie lady Join Date: May 2003 Location: Leechburgh, PA Posts: 1,993	kudoes PBS you've started to heal. hugs and good wishes. __________________ It feels like home to me. Bonnie Rhatt

September 23rd, 2009, 04:53 PM	#10
PoohsBigSister Long Live WOW!! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: CO Posts: 1,791	ladies...just knowing that I can come here and talk helps so much... and..I know ya'll know EXACTLY what I mean!! I told my counselor on Monday about WOW and how it's kept me going in some darker times in my life. I would be lost without you all!! ((((((((((((((((( MY FRIENDS ))))))))))))))))))))))))) __________________ "Life is a flower of which love is the honey." Victor Hugo

September 23rd, 2009, 06:27 PM	#11
Wolf_angel A survivor of chaos Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Where my heart is Posts: 3,147	((((((PBS))))) As always we know who our "real family" is LOL That is why we all have so much fun as well as know where to get help in our darker times. Have a great day! __________________ May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~

September 25th, 2009, 08:29 AM	#12
crazymomma awesome cookie lady Join Date: May 2003 Location: Leechburgh, PA Posts: 1,993	((((((PBS))))) you, Love are welcome. You are there for use too. That's why I think this is here. We've all had stuff we can't handle and I am reading a book right now called "Don't Take My Grief From Me" It says that at times what you need most from your friends is an ear. Not an answer. Sometime there are no answers to life questions. Sometimes you just need someone to listen. Isn't it wonderful that we have each other here to do just that? __________________ It feels like home to me. Bonnie Rhatt

September 26th, 2009, 02:29 PM	#13
rjsfeminist Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: west central Florida Posts: 1,564	(((PBS))) I know that had to have been rough. How are you doing?

September 28th, 2009, 12:34 PM	#14
PoohsBigSister Long Live WOW!! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: CO Posts: 1,791	Actually RJ, I'm feeling better. The few counseling session I've had have been helpful, and I have quit looking for the site of the accident when I drive by..and I have a new mantra when thoughts surface about what I coulda/shoulda done... You stopped, you called, and you gave her a chance.... so far it's working! __________________ "Life is a flower of which love is the honey." Victor Hugo